An interesting concept for this week’s Erotic Journal Challenge – A love map. Based on Joan Mazza’s book, Exploring your sexual self, each of us has a personal map of personal aspects of love, sex and romance. What we as individuals find sexy, romantic, arousing etc. Brigit finds some fabulous prompts and this is no exception. So, making a love map….

I’ve written so much about my actual relationships, but what drove me to them I wonder? What was it that attracted me to the men I’ve been with and those who I’ve fancied. But also what caused me to turn away, to end things? I guess this is asking me to think about what makes me tick emotionally when it comes to being attracted to another.

The type of person I’m attracted to

A man. First and foremost I have have to say upfront that I am heterosexual. I’ve never been sexually attracted to a woman. I’m attracted in other ways, to friendship with people I find engaging, fun but also serious. But sexual attraction for me is restricted to men. But then it gets a little more complicated.

Good looks are great on anyone and I’ve been tempted by that alone. But when it comes down to it you need more than good looks to get into my life and bed. Indeed when it comes down to it I am more turned on by the things people say than the way they look. The ability to have a conversation that isn’t just about sex. Someone who seems attracted to me, someone who wants to touch me and to make me feel good.

Sights and smells

I’m aroused and also turned off by what I see and the aroma my lover brings with him. Once those pheromones get going we exude a smell of arousal. That in turn makes me more turned on. But unwashed bodies, especially the stale sweat variety are a real turn off. The size of someones genitalia isn’t necessarily important, but when you find yourself with someone who is well endowed that can be an added plus sign. Right now I’m pretty lucky in that department. As I am that Master loves to touch me so much and to kiss and breath in the smells of my sexual arousal.

Passing that honeymoon period

That period of time when your relationship is new and exciting is wonderful. But sadly it can’t last for ever. What comes next, I’ve discovered is the most important thing. Much of our life together has been and still is about our dynamic and about our sexual exploits. But much more isn’t. It is that other time that is important for a long lasting relationship. We have come together later in life and from here on we need to manage the process of growing old together. It’s what we want.

This relationship is different from any other. This time it really is for keeps, for many reasons. But also because to be frank I am not in any condition to start over. Nor do I want or need to. This love map is for keeps and so is my relationship.

6 thoughts on “Making A Love map”

  1. You have hit on an important concept. What happens after initial attraction and the honeymoon period? That is more important than anything, I believe. Because that is where the love is. The friendship, the commitment, the glue that keeps us together even when we aren’t feeling it or can’t anymore. When you have that, you know you have something that can withstand time and trouble.

  2. Yes you are right about the long term. There has been to something beyond the initial physical attraction to make that strong.

    Molly

  3. I love the love map idea, I have no idea what mine would be, probably lots of meandering lanes and too many crossroads to confuse me along the way. But I agree with you about the long term, there is so much more than just attraction and sex.

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