Why both vulva and vagina? Well because people get the names wrong. Also why vulva and vagina? Because I want to talk about how I’m ageing down there.
Some anatomy
Unfortunately it’s not unusual for people to have little understanding of their own anatomy, nor to call it by wrong name. I guess I am lucky because as a nurse I’ve labelled pictures of sexual organs and written about them. But I didn’t much go in for touching myself when I was younger. So even though I knew what things were called I didn’t know what was where on myself.
Basically when it comes to vulvas, that is the area outside of the vaginal canal. The pubic area, labia (external and internal) and clitoris. The vagina is a muscular canal that links to the uterus. When you slide a dildo or vibrator through the opening it’s in your vagina. If it’s rubbing against your clit then that’s your vulva. This huff post article explains it all pretty well and asks whether the word vagina just sounds better and more medical. Or whether its about favouring the bit the man likes (during heterosexual sex) over the bit that provides the owner with the most pleasure. Luckily I’m with a man who loves to stroke and lick my vulval area, including the clitoris.
The ageing vulva and vagina
Oestrogen is the hormone that helps to keep us moist and spongy bother inside and out. During the menopause the lining of the vagina becomes thinner and drier. Sex can become painful and definitely less satisfying. As I’ve written here quite a bit I’m in the throws of a second menopause caused by medication. Post breast cancer I was put onto a drug called letrozole. This is dragging any remaining oestrogen from my body and I’m not happy about it. But there is nothing I can do since my breast cancer fed off oestrogen.
Over the past few months I’ve noticed that even when I’m aroused and think I am wet, I’m actually bone dry. It means that I need lubricants to receive the most simple of pleasures. Thankfully Master’s saliva is pretty good for many purposes but actual lube is necessary for toy use.
According to this article, it is important to keep on having sex with a partner or toy during this time as otherwise the vagina shortens and narrows. I most certainly don’t want that!
Using vibrating toys
I’m needing more stimulation to come these days. Gone are the days when Master could make me come just by tweaking my nipple, rubbing my clit and telling me to come. Ok, so that is simplistic, but damn I could come on demand just 3 or 4 years ago. So we are resorting more and more to toys that vibrate.
There has been no change to the sense I have that I am aroused. As I say above it takes time and attention to get me wet. Then I often need a vibrator do help get me off. But it’s not all doom and gloom because we’ve taken to using both penetration and stimulation to get us both to the most fantastic orgasms. Then once I start I go on and on coming, which is rather glorious. So we have been exploring new and different vibrating toys, which is also fun.
So in summing up. Get to know your body and use the right terms for the different parts. Enjoy using fingers, tongues and toys and don’t get despondent when things change. There is usually a way around the problems and the fun and games can definitely continue. Finally if you have them, love your vulva and your vagina too.
I think it is super helpful to provide info on sex and aging. Not everyone knows this stuff. For example, I expect the dryness and the need for lube, but I didn’t realize the vagina would shorter or narrow without use. Ack!!! That is seriously necessary information! My Husband teases that without use it would “grow shut and hair over.” I guess He’s sort of right. 😄🤣
I know, I was really surprised about that too. Obviously the saying, use it or lose it is true!
“Use it or lose it.”
Perhaps this thought will make many people reconsider their attitude to the body.