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Blogging A-Z Challenge 2021: D/s – starting in your 50’s


Actually I was still 49 when I began my D/s relationship with S. During the past 9 years I have learned much more about myself, about sex and relationships than I can say. It has literally been life changing. In some ways it would have been good to have found my submissive self earlier. Perhaps, with the right dominant some heartache might have been saved. But of course you never know whether any relationship will stand the test of time. Nor that it will remain a happy one.

One of the key things I have learned is that it is never too late to start again. Nor probably too early. Plus you can sometimes get what you want, if you know what that is of course. At the beginning I had little idea since most of my knowledge came from reading. But by the time I met Master I was much clearer. I’ve been looking back at some of the things I wrote in 2014 when we had just met. Master was quick to exert control over me. To begin with that amounted to the time we spent in the bedroom or playroom. But then wider aspects of my life.

Sex had very much been in the background of my life, then suddenly I was having more sex than I could have imagined. I discovered that receiving pleasure was also part of giving pleasure through service to another. In my previous life I’d felt like a door mat but submitting to my Dominant just made me feel more fulfilled. Go figure!

“By concentrating on my needs my new Dom began that process (of possession). There wasn’t all that much in the way of cock worship, but by starting to own my body and my mind i began to see that i most definitely wanted to worship. Orgasm after orgasm washed over me and through the pleasure and pain i began to submit to him”. (Feb 2014).

We both knew that yesterday, date two, would be different. When i arrived i was already his possession, i was already in full submission mode. But he set about getting me to show how i would worship him“, (from the same post).

At that time our relationship was intended to be about BDSM and play, but very quickly it became so much more.

New Dom would like me to refer to myself in the third person when i am in submissive role. He feels it will help me to explore my submission more and to hand more of myself to him (or something like that). At the same time i will call him Sir or Master, or as a further suggestion Lord. I nearly fell off my chair at that one and he wondered if i was being a little bratty! i expect i was, but i think that this girl will call Him Sir or Master rather than Lord!15 Feb 2014

This happened 2 weeks into the relationship and from there I don’ think there was any turning back. Much as I rebelled then and sometimes still do, he was right. Being this girl has helped me find my submissive self and to help her grow and develop.

As I’ve written before no two Dominant / submissive (D/s) relationships are the same. But there are common elements. The type of sex we have and the impact and other play require a level of trust that I never experienced in my vanilla marriage. Indeed I didn’t really trust my husband. There I was unlearning all I thought I had known about what a relationship should be like and relearning it in my 50’s. I spent much of my adult life thinking there must be more to it and then found that there was.

This way of life is not for everyone and you can’t make yourself Dominant or submissive. But if it is innately present within you, then maybe you should explore those feelings. I feel lucky that I got that opportunity and then met the right man to guide me through the journey.

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