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A secret most people don’t know about me

No, I’ve never been a bunny girl, but it I was young and slim I might like to work in one of the clubs I’ve visited.

There is very little about me that isn’t described in some way on tis blog. I really am an open book and pretty much wear my heart on my sleeve. There are pretty much no secrets here. The people who don’t know, the people I keep secrets from are my family and friends. Perhaps if this lifestyle had come to me earlier then I would have had to be more open. I didn’t really learn or embrace the importance of sex and body positivity until quite late in life. The past 9 years has been quite the learning curve.

The significance of the collar

It is quite amusing that very few people ask why I wear a titanium ring around my neck. My hairdresser loves it and tells me so, I smile and thank her. It’s really only at munches and clubs that people know what it signifies. There people have asked what it’s made of, how long I’ve worn it and other similar questions. But no one in my family has ever enquired. But then I’m not sure we are a very inquisitive family. My mum and younger brother are pretty much too self centred to be honest.

So on that topic I have no plans to go round telling people, but it’s not a secret so if they asked then that would be a different thing.

Kinky sex and play

I’m so glad I’ve broadened my sex horizons and also grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to visit BDSM clubs. There I have met people I can speak freely with, where secrets aren’t about the fact I like impact play. Instead its the regular stuff we keep hidden, for privacy purposes of course.

The image above reminds me so much of the club we go to for CMnf. The girls who work there don’t cover their faces like those bunnies. But there is something about the ones in the picture that makes me think of them. Friends with each other and welcoming to guests they look after everyone’s needs. Especially when it comes to chocolate and food in general.

It’s been a year now since we last attended any such event or even a Munch. I feel so sad about that because they really are places I feel I can be myself. Instead we can only play at home, which until last week hadn’t really happened. There really is something about being in a more public place that appeals to me. My exhibitionist nature I guess.

Sex isn’t something readily discussed in my family, nor do I have a special friend I can talk sex with. I guess that’s how I became quite as repressed as I was. Too scared to bring the topic up. But for 9 years now I’ve been with men who have encouraged me to be more open with myself. Then there is this blog. A place that I can be open and honest, but of course that’s a secret too.

3 thoughts on “A secret most people don’t know about me”

  1. I think it is quite common for people to open up sexually later in life. We become less worried about things that don’t matter, we know what works and what doesn’t, and we’ve had time to come to our senses regarding society’s expectations. It’s sad that not everyone gets here, but for those of us working on it, we are the lucky ones, I think. Sexual repression bleeds into every other facet of our lives.

    But, like you, I only open up here and with a few people in life who understand. My family and friends have no idea what I write or what I get up to sexually, which is probably for the best. It isn’t their business, and it would color their vision of me negatively. Funny and ironic that I feel strangers have a better claim to my private life, but I feel safer telling people I don’t know.

    It would be nice, though, to have some close friends I could really open up with…and not hold back the truth. The only person who gets the full me is my Husband.

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