“A true soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.”Elizabeth Gilbert
When people told me that their other half was their soulmate I often wondered what that exactly meant. After all I loved my husband, the good and bad of him, but I was pretty sure we weren’t soulmates. However much he might have wished otherwise. For one thing I tried too hard to change him, something that was never going to happen. Meanwhile I changed myself, not entirely for the better.
When I met S and thought I was falling in love with him he firmly told me that I wasn’t his one, because he was looking for a soulmate. Well that turned out well for him, because he is single again and I am with the man I’m pretty sure is my soulmate.
It wasn’t until I saw this quote that I began to think and wonder if my assertion above is true. But actually these words apply to me. Master didn’t seek to change me, he just helped me see the person I could be. He allowed me to make the changes to my life that I knew deep down I wanted and needed, but didn’t have the strength or courage to do.
I’d say pretty much this entire blog is devoted to the changes I’ve made over the past 9 years. That’s how old my blog is next month. The voyage of discovery I had just started resulted in me meeting Master in February 2014. My time with S was a massive learning experience. About myself, my life as it was and what I might need from it. But it has been my time with Master that has given me so much.
The changes I’ve made have been mine to make. But with his love and support as well as the times he has challenged me to look deeply within myself. To express the things I want and to put myself and our relationship above others. The payback has been huge. He is my friend and confidant. It isn’t just because I agreed to be his slave that I tell him everything. Master is my lover and boy I’ve discovered just how sex can be. Even when I think I’m not in the mood, my body often tells me otherwise, and that is due to him.
Our relationship isn’t perfect, whose ever is. Nor is he without his faults. He is human and opinionated and a sceptic about just about everything. But part of what I have learned since being with master is tolerance. To pick my battles much more carefully and to let things go. Walk into another room rather than storm in slamming the door (yep, I had a reputation from my teenage years). Also to try new things – art, music, sex clubs etc. In return he has attended Eroticon with me, not something he would choose to do by choice. But also visit my mum when she is often down right rude to him and engage with my family and friends and actually enjoy it. Those things make me very happy.
The thing that makes me most happy is when he tells me he loves me so, so much. And I can look him in the eye and tell him I love him too. Knowing that the statements are true. Yes, he is definitely my soulmate.