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Thinking about my relationship with pain

“It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure.”

Marquis de Sade
I am naked on the bed. I have clamps on my nipple and am wearing cuffs. A vacuum pump has been placed over my cunt.

The picture above probably wouldn’t look to most as if it involves pain. Indeed individually the nipple clamps and suction device would have provided discomfort rather than pain. What’s more, both have the effect of causing arousal as well as a modicum of pain. Even though you might not think so I think this image sums up my relationship with pain. In that I am not a masochist for the sake of receiving pain. But rather I like pain as part of experiencing other sensations.


I didn’t know much about pain before hand. I certainly never associated it with pleasure, sexual or any other. But once I started to read about discipline and impact play along with other elements of BDSM, I felt it might be something I’d want to try. With the right person. I found S and he was more about bondage than impact play, although he had his moments. It wasn’t until I met Master that I started to learn the meaning of pain and how it can lead to such pleasure.

New Experiences

Master isn’t exactly a sadist, which is just as well because as I said above I am no masocist. Having said that I have a relatively hight pain threshold. Part of that might well be the ‘training’ Master put me through from early on.

From our first play date Master introduced me to lots and lots of sensations, both one after the other and simultaneous. A butt plug, a dildo, restraints, the violet wand, a vibrator, a flogger and so on. Some sensations on their own bear no pain but in combination they really do. Indeed multiple orgasms in themselves can be painful in their way.

More recently

It’s been a while, but more recently we have concentrated on impact play rather than other things. Partly because much of our play times have been when we have been in public places or in dungeon rentals. In those places Master gets to try out his large array of implements – soft and fluffy to hard and barbed wiry. Over a session I find that I can take quite a bit of pain and I know he enjoys giving it to me. That too turns me on. I knowing the pain receptors in my brain consider impact play arousing. I can’t work out how they do, but they just do. So a message gets sent to my cunt and by some miracle I’m wet. I still find all of this confusing but mostly don’t worry about it and instead enjoy.

Let’s hope there is more pain and pleasure to come again soon!

5 thoughts on “Thinking about my relationship with pain”

  1. I had a conversation with BIKSS recently about my feelings towards pain. In itself it does nothing for me. So I suppose I’m not a masochist in the true sense of the word. And he doesn’t enjoy seeing me in pain etiher. But what I DO enjoy is knowing I’m enduring HIS pain. Because He can give it and I will take it. In that way I think it’s just a delivery system for showing our D/s rather than actual S/m per se.

    He also only enjoys “hurting” me when I get turned on by it. If I was in any real discomfort and disliking the sensations he wouldn’t be able to enjoy causing me pain for pain’s sake.

    here’s to more painful pleasures coming both our ways!

  2. I can’t work out why my body seems to enjoy the things it does, I’ve spent plenty of time overthinking it but I don’t have the energy for that right now so I’m just enjoying it.

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