This week’s No True Way prompt is a quote: The Dominant is the responsible one.
My first thought is responsible for what? We all have responsibilities, to ourselves and to others. Plus we all have to be responsible for something. I’m going to sort my response into his and hers. Master and slave. But also thinking about the way we approach life in general as well as those actions specific to our roles in this relationship.
Living with him in his house, Master has taken responsibility for keeping a roof over our head. He pays the bills and in that I am somewhat reliant on him. That isn’t to say I couldn’t do those things and if necessary I would pay more. We share household chores, he does more maintenance (gardening and fixing fences etc) and I do more cooking and cleaning.
When it comes to our M/s relationship he sets our boundaries and makes decisions about how and when we play for example. He tends to lead when it comes to sex and what we do. But I know he would be happy if I showed more initiative. His libido is higher, as I have said before. He set rules for me to follow, though isn’t the best at disciplining or even keeping track. I guess we are both a bit lazy in that element of our lives.
When we are out at an event, or going to stay in a dungeon say then he takes responsibility for what happens there and for keeping me safe. The nature of the things we do together mean that I put my trust in him and leave it up to him. Sometimes I have struggled to get into the mood when we have arrived at a place for an over night stay. I tend to stress and over think and it often takes a while to get myself into the right headspace. But once I am there then it’s all over to him.
I am responsible for my own wellbeing. For what I put in my mouth, whether I get enough exercise or sleep etc. Decisions about work and family matters are mine, though I do discuss pretty much everything with Master. Often seeking reassurance and occasionally a decision from him about what he thinks I should do.
As mentioned above do a lot of the cooking and often decide what to cook. Though we share thoughts on what we fancy to eat etc. I would love it if he did more housework, but while I’m waiting for that to happen I get on and do it.
I have my own money and decide how I spend it. We discuss holidays, where to go and when. He tends to do the bookings in the main. But on occasion I book and pay for something, often as a treat for him.
In our M/s relationship I take responsibility for being ready when he wants to use me. I don’t tend to say no often. This is because I have discovered that going with the flow often leads to feeling like I wanted it all along. He is not a man to force me into things I really don’t want, even though he is my Master.
Over time we have both learned that there is a certain cat and mouse game to be played there. Usually though he gets his way. He has a way of making me want to submit, to please him and to give pleasure. Maybe that is my responsibility? Or maybe it’s his? Otherwise perhaps this is how relationships should be.