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Working out who my people are

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“One kind word can warm three winter months. ” – Japanese Proverb

This is the year I’ve struggled to work out just who my people are. My assumptions have been challenged and my actions judged. I’m far from alone in this. What follows is something of a ramble, but it’s my ramble!

In her post for this particular edition of Quote Quest LSB talks a little about how this year has changed her. Not just because of the crazy world of virus pandemic we have had to endure during 2020. But also the ramifications of the unpleasantness that took over the sex blogging community this year. As LSB notes there were often few kind words during that time and even fewer apologies for the hurt caused.

It seems as though you can read what people say, however unpleasant, but even when you disagree you aren’t meant to say (or write) anything. That’s certainly how it’s felt to me. Which is why I have struggled to get my words onto this blog for much of this year.

We all make mistakes, god knows I’ve made plenty. But I do believe that people should be treated with respect and certainly shouldn’t be made fun of just because you don’t understand them or their lives. If you make a mistake then an apology is a start. But that apology should never begin with ‘sorry, but…’

Words hurt and people will write things online, be it on a blog, on twitter or other social media they never would say face to face. Or even on the phone. I’ve noticed for years that folk can be direct, bordering on rude in an email but if you call them up they act differently. The same is true in the media we use to communicate within the sex blogging community.

A few weeks ago I was unfollowed by another tranche of people on Twitter. I pre-empted more by unfollowing others. Who exactly are my people I wondered? Rather than speak my mind, I am more likely to shut up and hide. Pondering who to engage with, why and how. The result has been a hiatus of more than 2 weeks. During this time I have wondered whether I really want to write. And, if I do what?

Course in over 8 years of blogging this has happened before. Those I engage with through the blog have changed several times, so this year has been no exception. Before though people dropped by the wayside because they stopped blogging. Their lives changed and with it they changed direction. So it is a little different.

I am feeling a little more positive about the new year. I have a new job in the offing which will keep me busy. So, I may not have as much time for blogging. But that in turn might lead to more words. Strangely the desire to write increases when I have to find time for it.

I still have friends out there, I know. People who want to read my words. My people. But I don’t write for them, I write for me. So when I am ready to write I will. Let’s hope 2021 is a year with less drama and more kind words. We most definitely need that.

8 thoughts on “Working out who my people are”

  1. Sing it, sister. This has been a bitch of a year in the blogging world, and I see it much the same as you. I cut a lot of ties and kept my mouth shut and tried hard to stay out of the fire. It’s done me a bit of damage, but I try to stay true to those who have always supported me. Better to support those who do than those who don’t, because those who don’t only care about what I do for one reason, appearances. I hear you on finding time to blog. It always seems I want to write more when I don’t have the time to. And it is always best to write for ourselves first, changing of the guard be damned. Happt New Year! And here’s wishing for a year with far less drama!

  2. Hi Julie. Just a note to let you know that I’ve been reading your blog for years and you are appreciated. When you didnt post I was afraid that something had happened to you (Covid). I’m glad your OK and back.

  3. Pingback: Goodbye 2020, Hello 2021 - MPB

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