Day Dreamer

“Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” – Gloria Steinem

I’ve always been a bit of a day dreamer. Sometimes the world inside my head has been far more interesting than the one going on around me. But also letting your mind wander off is a good way of planning what you need to do. It helps you go off into those tangents that you wouldn’t even consider if you kept focused on the job in hand. Whatever that is.

At school there were two reasons I would get into trouble, one was for talking too much and the other, day dreaming. School wasn’t always my happiest place and so to be honest looking out of the window at the boys playing rugby and dreaming about going out with one of them was preferential. Not that I didn’t knuckle down when needed. Anyway I never went out with any of the rugby team so that was a pipe dream of it’s own. A lot of my day dreamer experiences were about boys and later men. I started writing stories about my dreams, which later in my 20’s developed into much more sexy encounters.

When studying and at work I was always something of a last minute person. I spent years assuming that it was a fault. But then I realised I always get the thing done and usually on time. It also occurred to me while writing my Masters dissertation that I need to organise the work in my head before I touch a pen or keyboard. Thinking time for me is vital. People might think I’m being lazy but no, I’m thinking. Organising my thoughts. Then I’m checking facts, making a few notes. Suddenly, hey presto I think I’ll write this.

It’s often the same for blog posts. I rarely write a plan, instead it all forms in my head. Sometimes as part of a real night time dream, or else during that period of time between sleep or waking. Sometimes though I’m planning a post during sex. I know that sounds terrible, but some sexual or play events just lend themselves and you know it straight away. The biggest problem is remembering it all afterwards, but that’s where poetic license comes in.

About 10 years ago I had a fantasy of a different life from the one I was living. The thoughts and ideas I had then turned into reality because I searched for evidence that life was possible. Reading books about dominance and submission had me wondering if there were real life experiences to read about. Yes, there were and are. Next I decided to explore the chat rooms and found a whole world of truth, make believe and stuff in the middle. A fantasy turned into reality and here I am.

The thing is though, I don’t sit here planning my whole life for ever. It’s always just about what needs doing now or soon. The things I’d like to do tomorrow, next week or next year. That’s enough for me. Day dreaming, but grounded in reality.