A submissive shouldn’t question a dominant’s orders. It’s not the submissive’s position to know what a dominant’s reasons are. They should just do it and trust the dominant with that decision.
During our day to day life we don’t have the kind of relationship where by Master says jump and I ask him how high. Our life together is a partnership. That isn’t to say that there isn’t a power exchange element to our every day lives. There is. Over time I have given much of my decision making responsibilities to him. He books things up and arranges things for us to do (or did before the world went tits up) without discussion. Just as he often initiates our kink and other encounters. However that doesn’t mean we don’t discuss them first.
It’s taken me years to get to this point. As I mentioned in my last post, I have always had a tendency to want to control everything and everybody. To the extent where the effort wore me down. Meeting someone who wanted to make decisions on my behalf was something of a relief. But allowing it to happen didn’t come easily.
In my fantasies I am a malleable and obedient submissive, but in real life I don’t want to be that person. I’m a strong minded individual and I’d rather be called bratty than a door mat. Anyway, that isn’t what Master wants, I highly suspect he likes my bratty side. So long as I know when to stop.
Having said all of that, it’s not often that orders of any kind are issued and they tend to be in a specific context – play, scenes and sex. And then, I’m usually pretty happy to do as I am told, often without question. Well too many questions anyway, because I often struggle to shut off my inquisitive (or nosy) mind. Master loves to give surprises (of a pleasant kind), which is when new toys and clothes suddenly emerge. There are rarely dull moments when he gets and idea in his head.
Even though I have relinquished my limits to Master, there is always room for discussion about something new. Neither of us thinks that he should hold all the information and I should just do as I’m told. Nor do we think that instructions should be parked out as orders.
So, the reality is that a power exchange is a balancing act (just like other relationships). Communication and discussion is vital so that each partner understands the rules of engagement. But, it takes time to get to a place of clear understanding of roles and responsibilities. In this relationship I think we’ve worked out what we want and need and that is just fine for us.
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