By it’s very nature reading and writing about sex can be both liberating and exciting. That if the sex being written about is interesting and exciting. For many years there was no mileage in writing about my own sex life. It was dull, bordering on non existent. But as I wrote in my last post, starting a new sexual journey made me want to write about my experiences.
Writing about real life experiences
It took me a while to get into my stride. I was overwhelmed by the emotion of it all and so struggled to write down details. I still do to a certain extent. But at least with real life experiences you know what has and hasn’t been possible (see below). Plus, the emotion of a sexual experience is just as important as the physical and physiological effects in my opinion. Unless you are writing pure porn I guess. But I’m more of an erotica lover. Plus I prefer to ground myself in reality rather than fantasy.
Once I met Master things changed slightly. Unlike S, Master reads all my posts and will often go back to review what I said about a particular event. So, increasingly writing had him in mind. I couldn’t and can’t always get events in the right order, after all I’m not writing as I do it! But he often remarks at how hot what I’ve written is.
So, the next reason is to get the audience hot. After all, who doesn’t like to be told that what they have written is sexually arousing. If you are a sex blogger anyway.
Improving on some of the fiction that’s out there
There is some amazing erotic fiction to read. Plus all of the how to manuals. But there is also some absolute rubbish. Some people seem unable to work through questions such as is it physically possible before putting pen to paper. The use of odd euphemisms in erotic fiction is something that The Other Livvy has picked up on. There is little that turns me off more than being unable to describe people’s anatomy and actions without using completely unbelievable phraseology.
So, one of the inspirations for writing about sex, whether based on real life events or fiction is to do better. After language, plot and characters feels pretty important. Why are so many books based on the lives of super rich men seeking to find a young bimbo to be their sex toy? Why are there so many young girls out there who crave submission? Who moments later can be found kneeling naked for their boss or tied to a bench? Of course there is plenty of gay erotica, but I don’t doubt that these dynamics are replicated.
I’m nearly 58 years old and I want to read about people who are older. Who have been through some of life’s problems and who don’t think that money is the answer to everything. Many of my fellow bloggers write brilliant erotica as well as about their own true life events. Good printed / e-book erotica is out there but you can do far worse than some of that written by the sex bloggers and writers we know. People like Brigit Delaney, Cara Theron and Floss, to name but 3.
Finally I write about sex to help educate others. As I’ve written above, real life isn’t always like in books and magazines. We aren’t all young and skinny with a crazy libido. Not all penis owners have huge cocks. People experience pain and discomfort, people fund themselves unable to come. Not everyone loves to suck cock or to have anal sex. What’s more, it’s possible for a well educated woman of 50 to have little in the way of sexual experience.
That means it’s important to write about real sex and relationships. To explore and celebrate the great experiences, but not to ignore the bad or difficult.
I guess following on from my post yesterday wondering where I am going on my blog. Maybe this post is another step to finding out who I am and what my purpose is. Writing about sex for me is about detailing my own experiences, thinking about the experiences of others and hopefully helping to educate.