“I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?”
John Lennon
It’s often difficult to establish fact from fiction, sometimes that matters and sometimes it doesn’t. If I tell you something about me, it is up to you to believe it or not. Thankfully I am basically a truthful person and the stuff I write here is essentially true. Of course I choose how much to tell you and what to keep to myself. This isn’t a diary, so doesn’t contain pages and pages of verbatim prose. That would be dull, but also would give too much information. So, how do we know if what we are told is true and to what extent does it matter?
Being true to myself
This blog is based on me and my life and while I write fiction that’s often based on an element of truth too. At the beginning I set out my purpose and have pretty much stuck to it. I have shared the good and the bad of my life. My relationships, struggles with family members and the fun times, like holidays. Often an image can paint many thousands of words, which is why my Sinful Sunday posts often contain no or few words. I think long and hard about the words and images I share. I want them to portray me and my life, but try not to make them misleading. Everything isn’t a bed of roses. I don’t have sex every day and I struggle with my submission. These are all truths.
Being true to others
Master knew about my blog from the start. He was keen for me to continue to write and has never told me what to include and what not to. At the beginning I was very careful about the information I shared about him and it was a while before he appeared in an image. His consent to participate is now implicit but I am always mindful of what he would want spoken or shown about him.
As for others in my life, well that is different. I do write about family members and others but am as vague as I can be without making my words meaningless. I recently shared a photo of my son as a child on this blog. But know I will need to remove it soon. It was done to illustrate a moment in my life, but was done without consent. Of course, I have no desire for him to discover this blog.
Fellow sex bloggers and kinksters choose to have a higher level of anonymity than I or Master and I do. So, I am mindful of that when I share details about the things I do and places I go.
When the truth is twisted
I am well aware that levels of honesty differ. I tend to take things and people at face value because I am honest. Where I get caught out is that I have a rubbish memory and can’t always remember exactly what was said and when. Also we all have our own version of the truth as we see and remember of it. That doesn’t make the different versions lies but it does lead to levels of honesty.
Sadly though, there are people out there who will use your words and actions against you and do so for ever. It’s a sad fact of life. Recently I had to decide who to believe when malicious things were being said about a friend. As I said at the time I can only make judgements on the facts in front of me and that includes previous behaviour. I’m more likely to believe someone I know well than someone I’ve never met.
I’m still sad about the events that led to the split in the sex blogging community. But in the end I had to choose my own path. One where I make my own judgements about others rather than to believe everything I am told. Hindsight tells me I was too trusting. I won’t be told which meme is safe of not, but instead will decide for myself. If that upsets some people then so be it.
Funny, yesterday I started writing a post about blog life vs real life and being truthful and authentic without telling all the facts. I enjoyed following your line of thinking!
“Where I get caught out is that I have a rubbish memory and can’t always remember exactly what was said and when.”
Same here. I might be one of the easiest persons to gaslight, because I can’t remember details and trust everyone, and if someone comes back later and says they have never said a thing, I doubt myself and think I have remembered it wrong. Like you, I have decided to choose my own path. I need to do this for myself, as what happened impacted my health, and I need the mental rest.
Thank you for you linking this, Julie.
~ Marie
I completely understand that Marie. The main thing is to stay true to yourself and to protect your health. xx
In the end we need to do what feels right to us – that is part of our truth.
I am trusting too, but people you know IRL trump what strangers tell me every time
I know I am very lucky to be able to be as out as I am on my blog but that is not the same for my current partner which means it has changed how I write about that relationship a bit and also some of the images I can post.
As for blogging memes… i think if it feels right and good for you then that is what matters. I have taken a break from some for various reasons but mostly I just needed time off and time to think and recharge. Hence now joining in with Hy’s meme to try and help me get back to creating content
Molly
I think it’s really important to take account of changing situations. But also there are times when we all need a break and I am glad you are back writing. xx
Make your own judgements, carve your own path, nobody can ask for more truthfulness than that. Good post Julie, it’s always good to see someone being open and honest.
Trust but check up. Unfortunatelly there are a lot of people who don’t live their lives in truth.
I love people until they prove otherwise.
The very beginning of this post reminded me that…