Xeronisus

There are no categories beginning with X on my blog. So I went over to Kinkly to find a word to use and so my new category beginning with X is Xeronisus. It means a person who is unable to orgasm at all. Apparently it is a relatively common condition, more common in females. Those with the condition are unable to achieve orgasm through either masturbation or sexual intercourse.

I’m extremely pleased to say that I don’t suffer from xeronisus, though I have struggled to reach orgasm from time to time. At the moment I find it difficult without direct clitoral stimulation, preferably a vibrating toy.

Masturbation

When masturbation meant going solo I sometimes found orgasm difficult to reach. I could lie there stroking my clit for ages, insert toys into my vagina and still not come. What’s more vibrating toys sometimes couldn’t get me off either.

I found a great site called masturbation dot com which no longer seems to exist. There they had not only sexy stories but also information on how to get the most from masturbation. There I discovered more about my anatomy in relation to orgasms than I had learnt elsewhere. Subsequently I found my G spot, something of a revelation. Clitoral orgasms are my favourite still but I do love a G spot one and Master is pretty good at locating it with his cock.

Interestingly, Kinkly suggests that exploring your body or doing so with your partner is a way to help overcome xeronisus. As is increasing foreplay. This may be part of the reason I struggled while married.

Foreplay

My ex wasn’t big on foreplay. I’ve written before that he though it involved little more than a quick grope of the tits. What’s more he was in favour of getting his satisfaction and couldn’t understand why I hadn’t already come when he had. I learned to satisfy myself, but had to actually learn how to do that. I came to it all late too.

Master loves foreplay. In fact there may not even be sex at the end. He loves to give me pleasure and to take it for himself. He also likes me to orgasm and to do so a lot.

Orgasm Control

I wrote last year about Master’s control of my orgasms. After 6 years it is part of my normal life. He has never said I can’t masturbate but I must ask permission to orgasm and to thank him afterwards. When I lived alone (or semi alone) he would often give free rein to come. I used to thank him straight after even if he wasn’t there. Now we live together I don’t masturbate alone.

For some unknown reason I have stopped being able to come on demand. Something that used to happen with ease. I have a hunch the tablets I take to reduce oestrogen levels in my body are the cause, but can’t be sure. Master therefore uses our wand to force them out of me.

Receptive to Change

Over the years I and we have had to change in order to get the best from our relationship and sex life. That includes orgasms and masturbation. I’ve become a much more sexual person over time. Reading erotica and books about power exchange relationships made me want to masturbate and orgasm. The discovery that I knew my own body less than I imagined was a bit of a wake up. Finding out that things that got me off suddenly didn’t have been scary. But I and we have found our way around them and no doubt there will be more learning to come as both our bodies age.

I’ve never experienced xeronisus and hope I never do. But finding the word has made me think about how wonderful orgasms are and how they have changed for me over time.

I’d never be a cougar

A cougar (animal)

The only three categories beginning with W are Women’s rights, Work and Wicked Wednesday. Guess which one this post will be categorised under for the 110th time. This week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt is Cougar. Definition: Large American cat (see above) or an older woman seeking a sexual relationship with a younger man. In this post I’m going to tell you why I am not and probably never will be a cougar.

All my men have been older

My ex is over 4.5 years older than me. I was most pleased when he asked me out because it was definitely a thing to have an older boyfriend. I was almost 16 and he was 20. Each year the gap widened slightly when he had his birthday in October and I caught up again the following August. Around that time we might have had about the same mental age and it suited us. We had lots of fun and were only grown ups at work (once I did so).

Later when chatting to men online I tried to avoid those that were young, preferring men of my own age or older. When I started meeting men I’d met online they were also older than me.

Young men online

There are lots of young men in chat rooms that seek out an older woman. No doubt the reverse is true, but I’ve never done it. They tell you they love older women, they want to learn from you and think you and other older women are sexy. I’d chat with some of them, but drew the line at anyone the same age or younger than my son. Nowadays they’d have to be over 30 for me to even pass the time of day! However I never wanted to meet any.

They may have been attractive, and I can’t say I mightn’t have fancied them in some way. Liked them even. But I don’t find a much younger man a turn on. It’s the same with women. I find many women attractive and sometimes have an attraction especially when described in erotic fiction. But I know I don’t want to have sex with a woman. It’s just me and I actually wish I did since it’s one of Master’s fantasies.

What about when I am old?

I’m not expecting to go looking for a man again, instead I hope to grow old with the man I have. But I guess there is a chance that when I’m 75 I might want sex with a 60 year old or something. However I wouldn’t imagine a 60 year old wanting a cougar. I guess only time will tell!

This post was my first Wicked Wednesday in 2016.

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