Lockdown

A globe with a door superimposed on it. There is a padlock on the door. A message reads lockdown.

For the last month we and much of the world has been in a state of lockdown. Of course countries like Italy and Spain were already a few weeks in when we joined this phenomena. For us, we are to stay home unless going out is essential. That means those people whose jobs that can’t be done at home, shopping for food and other essentials and a daily walk. Those who have underlying health problems or who are elderly have been told not to go out at all where possible.

How lockdown has affected our daily lives

We spent much of the winter at home. Even our regular trips to the theatre and for music concerts had been minimal. It wasn’t that we couldn’t go out it’s just there weren’t many things we wanted to go to. As spring approached we had lots of things lined up. As mentioned before we were in London for Eroticon even though that was cancelled. We had a marvellous time, partly because we sensed this was something of a last hoorah. We were due to fly to Budapest for Master’s birthday then to France for Easter.

To begin with we just went with the flow. After all what could we do. We tended to make our shopping trips a bit more comprehensive so we didn’t need to go back too frequently. But we do like different things from different shops. We soon discovered that small and local businesses are useful for making sure we are stocked up. Most supermarkets now restrict the number of people going in so prefer individuals rather than two adults. So this has changed our behaviour too.

Luckily the weather has been pretty good so far. We’ve taken regular walks and have been sitting outside to have lunch or an afternoon drink. But otherwise we have been out little. Well he hasn’t, I’ve been to my mums.

Caring for my mum

My brother is mum’s main carer, but he is a supermarket manager. He is understandably nervous about calling round because he is in contact with the public daily. But we do need to visit regularly as she can’t really go out right now (she is 80) and anyway she can’t walk well. Usually she would go out daily on her scooter and buy one or two things just so she sees people. This has now stopped. The cleaning agency withdrew in the first week of lockdown and she isn’t able to clean. Though is able to look after her own hygiene needs and cook.

I took the decision early on that I would continue to visit for as long as I can. Mainly to support my brother. I have another brother who has decided this isn’t an option. I’ve tried to tell him it is classed as an essential journey, but he isn’t interested. Last time I visited she fell in the toilet. Which immediately made that trip worthwhile.

A good thing is that she is nicer to both of us right now. She needs us and is grateful. I’m not sure how long that will last.

Back to work

I’ve mentioned before on the blog that I will be returning to nursing. The process to make that happen has been a little slower than expected. But it is now in hand. I’m starting to do training to refresh my skills. I haven’t done any front line nursing for 20 years. I can assure you though that most of my knowledge is still there. It’s just taking account of new policies and evidence and losing some rustiness. I won’t be in hospital but visiting people at home. Plus, I already have PPE ready to use.

When will it end?

Already this lockdown feels never ending . It’s been 4 weeks and we have at least another 2. But even then life won’t be normal. We are lucky in that we have no jobs to lose. Indeed as I’ve said I’ll be earning a small wage. Money for us is in savings and that has taken something of a dent. But we don’t need to worry. However I am worried that the shops, restaurants and other places we go won’t survive. I’m worried that people’s furloughs will become permanent. I long to be able to stay in a hotel or visit a stately home. Even just go to the pub.

Sex and kink

Our libido is rock bottom. We haven’t had a lot of sex, I do hope we’ll both perk up soon. I’m sad that the munches and clubs we go to are closed and look forward to when we can do that again.

It feels that there is little we can do but ride this thing out. Keep communicating our feelings and to do what feels right.

This whole thing feels weird. We’re living in a world where nothing is as it was. We don’t like it, but there is nothing we can do about it.

Question memes

Back in 2012 and 2013 there were great periods of time when I had little to write about. Having embarked upon an illicit affair with someone living 100 miles away, we weren’t able to see each other often. So, in the absence of excitement in my life and to avoid dull writing I joined in with various question memes.

The first question meme was 30 days of submission which I tackled in August 2012 and then revisited in 2014 when with Master. By then my knowledge of my own submission had grown. I had a greater insight into my own needs. But also the difference in this relationship was evident. Communication between Master and I was always better. He expected me to communicate in a way that S grew tired of. Also of note is that I wrote those answers in the third person. I recommend these questions to anyone new to submission or to a D/s relationship.

The second set of questions was 30 days about me which I wrote in 2013. Like most of these things, it starts out as a great idea but becomes something of a bind in the end. Which is why I ended up bundling questions together in one post.

30 days of Kink date back to 2017. Many of the answers are again joined in one post. This is because the questions are often quite repetitive. Or at least I was repetitive in my answers.

Finally, something I started but haven’t finished (though I do intend to) is the Loving BDSM 30 days of D/s. I seem to have got to day 12. You can find my posts here.

Q