two cats sitting on a tree. Birds fly around them. A little love heart dangles below.
Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay 

When I saw this F4T prompt about dating and dates I wondered what on earth I could write. In fact, I wondered if I’ve ever even been on one. I guess of course it depends on your definition of what a date is. It’s also because I never called going out, seeing someone, dating. But of course I’ve dated.

Youthful dating

My very first date was with my next door neighbour to the cinema to see a James Bond film, back in the 1970s. We only went because I refused to meet him at the back of our houses anymore until he took me somewhere. No more kissing and touching up without a trip somewhere. It was a one and only.

Next I went out with a guy over the road. He had a motorbike and my mum told me I couldn’t go on it. Of course I did and we went bowling. It wasn’t a date as such because 5 or 6 of his mates were there too. But it was fun. I finished with him soon after, the second evening with him was at his house, again with biker mates and their girlfriends. The final person I dated in our childhood street was the man I married. He took me on the bus to London, we walked in the park and ate strawberries and ice cream.

Dates with the man I married

We were together for 5 years before we married and another 7 before we had our son. Plenty of date opportunity. Nothing sticks out for me, but we occasionally made an effort to do something for just us rather than with friends or family. I guess that’s how it goes.

By the time we were of an age that we should be trying to inject some excitement into our dull lives I wasn’t keen. And if I was then he wanted to invite others along. Not to say we didn’t have our moments, but overall no dating as such.

Extramarital dating

I went out with a few men while married. Most were purely platonic though fun occasions. A few involved snogs and fumbles, a bit of excitement to spice up my otherwise dull life. It wasn’t until S that I actually went on a date that ended with us having sex. We met in the bar of a small hotel / pub and lust took over soon after we downed our drinks. It was a long distance relationship and most of it took place in his house. Dates were far and few between. He was also a bit on the tight side, preferring to spend £10 on providing a picnic than £50 on a meal in a restaurant. But we did go out on actual dates a few times.

Thankfully meeting Master was a different experience. Life with him involves a lot of interesting activities and not just kink and sex. Our first meeting was in a pub. We went for a walk, a chat and a snog then went back to the pub for a second drink. Play happened the next day and sex the week after. But from the beginning we went out together on what could be described as dates.

Dating now

When it was coming up to our anniversary at the beginning of February I asked if we could go out for dinner. An evening out where we went to dinner and went home again. A date. You see, when we eat out it is usually because it’s convenient. Before or after a concert, film or show. Or because we are travelling. I guess all of those could be dates in themselves, but they are actually part of our normal life. I’m not complaining and life is far from dull. Anyway we went out for our anniversary and it was lovely, a relaxed meal, the pub and then home and some sex. We did it again last weekend, so maybe it will become a more regular thing.

3 thoughts on “Dating”

  1. Really fascinating Julie – got me thinking of some teenage fumbles I had on a couple of first dates that never went any further

  2. Your experiences are very similar to mine Julie. I think for me I maybe have done more things that could be considered dates, but to my mind they weren’t because the fun or intent of romance or making an effort wasn’t there, or perhaps just not in the way I thought it should be. Whenever I read your posts or tweets though I always think it sounds like you both do lots of lovely things together and whether you class them as dates or not, it sounds like they have the right kind of energy to keep things fun, sexy and filled with desire and togetherness and I think that’s what I always think going on dates should be about 🙂 x

  3. Lovely reading . . . and totally agree that regular “date nights” are important to arrange.
    We try to take one weekend away hotel-breaks every month or so. Even if just to a Premier Inn, it’s just fun to get away from the “routine” of the home environment. So would thoroughly recommend !!!
    Xxx – K

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