Romance

Flowers - mainly pink and violet
Flowers I received on my birthday one year. Not romantic but beautiful.

I wouldn’t say I am unromantic, in fact I love a little romance, but I’m not a big fan of St Valentines day. Partly that is because it is over commercialised, in a similar way to Christmas and Halloween. Flowers cost twice as much, restaurants are overbooked and over priced. Plus, in the main the gifts on offer are stupid. Who needs a teddy carrying a heart shaped cushion? Apologies if you do.

But, actually my main problem with St Valentines is something a bit more basic. I challenge anyone to view 14th February in quite the same way when they once spent it in labour. My son was born 3 weeks early, so it wasn’t expected. But in the afternoon of the great day everything started. The bundle of joy arrived at around 1.30am and what happened in between was much less romantic than the conception. As you might imagine.

After that, we were either busy with birthday parties and / or (mostly both) had no money. However, a lack of romance on the day of hearts and roses has offered me the opportunity to reflect on what romance is to me and how to approach it.

Romance isn’t just one day a year

It’s the little things that find their way into my heart. That unexpected piece of sexy clothing or a sex toy. Dinner out when you have hardly felt less like cooking. A massage when you ache. Champagne in the bath. Things that could happen any time and don’t need an advert to remind them.

I love flowers but I don’t believe Master has ever bought me any. That would be a romantic gesture, so long as it wasn’t attached to some other motive. That is part of the history of my marriage, so I’m happy to over look the lack of flowers in my vase. Indeed I can buy my own and I do. I’d buy them for him but he says they give him hay fever.

I’m happy for others to be romantic

I love to see others buying gifts for their loved ones for St Valentines, though I prefer not to see them ripped off. A meal out can be romantic, especially if it isn’t something you do often. As I said before, we went out for our anniversary, for no other reason than it was a special day. That felt romantic, even though it was just at our local curry house.

The most romantic thing I’ve done

Last year I booked us into a really lovely hotel for Master’s birthday. It was expensive, but so worth it. It’s where this was taken. I wanted to treat him because of all of the support he had given me over the previous few months and longer. Great memories were created that weekend that will live with both of us.

I’m sure there will be lots more romance to come in our lives. We’ll be out this weekend (on Sunday) to celebrate my son’s 29th birthday. But we’ll be steering clear of any over hyped pseudo romance on Friday.

6 Replies to “Romance”

  1. I am right there with you about how commercialized Valentines is, and I don’t like to celebrate it for that reason, but also because I find romance in other things than special dinners or flowers. One of my cousins had a daughter on 14 February, and then something like 8 years later, she had another on 13 February. I bet she feels the same as you about Valentine’s 😉

    Rebel xox

  2. I totally agree with your sentiments on Valentine’s day, I feel the same way about Mothers Day or Fathers Day too.

    This is a great post and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing with Tell Me About.

    Sweetgirl x

  3. I always read your posts and nod at the sense you make. I love the examples you have given of how and when romance does work for you and can totally agree about the over commercialisation and the social conditioning we have to focus on the one day. I hope that you enjoy your dinner out for your son’s birthday and would agree that no stretch of the imagination could have made labour romantic for me either. ❤️

Your thoughts are always welcome

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