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Objectification in our relationship

Me wearing a dog mask.

I’ll start by saying that I’d decided not to write for this prompt on Tell Me About, because I have nothing to say. But a conversation with Master reminded me that actually it is part of my life. Somewhere over the past few weeks I’ve forgotten, partly because objectification is just an every day part of our lives.

When I wrote this post it was all new. I’d recently learned that being called a slut or bitch turned me on. Being ‘this girl’ made me smile because it confirmed my role as his slave. Somewhere in the mists of time I’d forgotten that he objectifies me by calling me those things. Of course I haven’t forgotten that I love it, but it’s just we’ve settled into our lives and roles over time.

When I refer to myself as his bitch, it turns him on. That is just a small part of our power exchange. But also it’s key to our Sex Life. Power equals sexual arousal for him and the knowledge of my submission to him still makes me wet.

We use objectification during play, especially when we have space. A few times we’ve stayed overnight in a dungeon and used the facilities to bring that side of us out. Master bought me a dog mask and tail and I have enjoyed wearing them for his pleasure. Dungeons often contain cages and he loves to watch me as I lie there feeling degraded and horny.

That’s the whole thing about degradation and objectification. It feels wrong and right at the same time. We shouldn’t get off on wearing a dog mask or wearing a leather collar and lead. But we do. To begin with that was puzzling to my previously vanilla brain. But over time I’ve embraced my kinks and delighted in the reaction they have on him. The fact that he fancies the pants (if I’m wearing any) off me is a thrill in itself. That his kinks involve objectifying me is especially exciting.

Recently we attended a new club. There was a woman wearing an entire dog costume and being led on a lead. I don’t think I’d want to do that, but I found it fascinating. Then there was the guy wearing a pony saddle and giving people rides on his back. Those places can be a thrilling insight into other people’s kinks. And even if it isn’t your thing it is mighty interesting to watch and see. But also it shows you what you could try out if you so desired. This world of kink is rarely dull!

7 thoughts on “Objectification in our relationship”

  1. It’s refreshing to hear someone so accepting of one’s kink. I would imagine identifying what turns you and your partner on, adds greatly to satisfaction. The “ hit and miss” method is time consuming and frustrating. Also, I appreciate how your blog tests what should be the motto of the lifestyle; Your kink is yours. My kink is mine, neither one of us needs approval or permission. Thank you for pushing boundaries.

  2. I am so glad that you spoke with your Master about this topic and this is a brilliant piece. I know what you mean about things becoming more normalised but fortunately they remain a turn on and still work well for us even though they have become part of what we do. I love your mask and it gives me the feels looking at it as it totally changes what you are for others which I think is part of the thing. I would be up for a leash and would like to be in an environment where there were others naked and led around too as I think that might feel quite thrilling. The language part also works for me and although we don’t use the third person in the way that you have I can see that it would have an impact. Great post – thank you 🙂

  3. I love it when you say that it feels wrong and right. I think that’s why I personally love it. I also love to look at other people who become the object of their owner. That can be puppy play, or simply any form of being dehumanized. We shouldn’t do it, but we do.

  4. Yet another case of kinky things becoming the normal things. It always makes me smile when I read from friends that they ‘didn’t do much last night’ when in fact it would make vanilla people’s eyes roll!

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