SoSS 2020 – 1

I’ve not been great at producing Share our Shit Saturday posts. This is partly because I often dont have my own shit together half the time. I read and comment on lots of blog posts every week, but often forget which have been my favorites. I’m determined though to make this year different and so since New Year have been saving posts in draft. Yes folks, the girl with no draft posts in her draft folder now has draft posts.

I’m not sure how often I’ll do these and I don’t want to set a target then fail at it. But here goes with number 1.

Violet Fawkes is already helping my motivation this month by running her January Jumpstart meme. So far I’ve missed only two days. But also, some of her own posts have caught my eye. At this time of year everyone is publishing their top 10, 20 or whatever favorite bloggers, which is great. But what if you don’t appear on these lists? This post by Violet, about loving yourself even if you aren’t on a list hit the spot with me, because I’m on some lists and not others. I can’t help but take these omissions personally even though there is no reason.

Another of Violet’s posts that caught my attention was this one about morning sex . I fully get that this is not her thing. It certainly wasn’t mine until Master and I got together. I’m sure that if I’d had a sex blog 10 years ago, I’d have been saying the same things. But age and circumstance have changed things. That’s the beauty of blogging over a long time, you can see how goals and objectives change. However that’s not to say that afternoon sex isn’t sometimes on our agend, such is Violet’s preferance. Certianly during the summer, that’s something we both love.

I’ve loved everyone’s 2019 reviews and enjoyed E. L Byrne’s Evolution of a polycule 2019 wrap-up Indeed I’ve been reading her weekly reviews on both her sites for sometime. The reviews will now be monthly and i’m looking forward to that. Poly isn’t my thing but I am fascinated by the lifestyle. My own experience was marred by jealousy (hers and mine) and I’ll be happy not to go there again. But I have the utmost respect for folks who can make it work.

Quinn Rhodes also writes regularly about her polyamory. She is a fabulous writer of both fiction and non fiction. This post: Sex goals for 2020: dominance and dating apps struck a cord. Goals are great, but if you don’t feel you’ve achieved half of what you set out then don’t just roll out the same ones. This year’s goals are more about relationships, behaviour and exploring different kinks within a queer, solo poly and romantic way. This can only bode well for Quinn’s writing. I’ve also enjoyed getting to know Quinn a little better through twitter and the Smutlancer Slack group, which has been a great bonus.

I try to participate in the weekly and monthly memes as much as possible. But there just isn’t enough time in the day to do them all. Plus, some prompts strike a cord more than others. I have to admit that Sex bloggers for mental health is one meme that I have written least for. I intend to rectify that this year. It occurs to me that I need to think much more about my mental health going forward.

This post Blogging about mental health and why it’s important by Missy, brought that message home to me. It also made me realise how respectful we need to be of the needs of others. I was overwhelmed to read an earlier linked post about Missy’s own mental health struggles. I’m grateful that my fellow sex bloggers feel so safe (as do to reveal so much of ourselves to each other.

Like a number of our fellow sex bloggers, Cara had a difficult 2019, and has not been writing as regularly as usual. I was so pleased to see that she has joined January Jumpstart and identified in particular with this post on intimacy and the way in which she describes the effect our previous relationships have on the way we desire to seek out intimate relationships. While spanking with a new partner might meet that need, being touched in an intimate way requires trust. I hope Cara regains her blogging mojo and that January Jumpstart helps.