Swinging

The idea of going to a club, getting off with and having sex with someone else has never really appealed to me. Nor has meeting up with someone on a casual basis for sex, even if my partner were fully aware. This maybe seems strange, given I cheated on my husband and started more than one relationship with other men. I don’t think swinging is nor will it ever be right for me. But, I guess I need to unpack that a bit.

I’m not sure I’m cut out for casual affairs

I like to get to know people, find out how they tick before I head to bed (or wherever) with them. I prefer my relationships to involve emotional feelings, not just lust. And if I met someone that I connected with then it wouldn’t be casual. I know that I am monogamous and can’t see that changing. Having said that, when I met Master there was the possibility that it might have ended up being a casual thing. But that says more about my state of mind at the time than anything. But, I digress.

Equally I am pretty sure I’d be jealous if Master wanted to sleep with other women. But also I know that he would be unlikely to want to have sex for the sake of it. This gets to the crux of who we are and the kind of relationship we have.

We are Dominant and submissive, Master and Slave

We go to a club that most of the time is for swingers. But we attend on days when the focus is dominance and submission. Sex takes place at those parties too, perhaps some of it is swinging, but that isn’t why we are there. For us, it is an opportunity to access space and equipment we don’t have at home. I admit there is a certain amount a lot of excitement in playing in public – seeing and being seen. But we don’t go there to have sex, we do that at home.

Would I play with another and would he?

Yes, I believe that both of us would if the desire or opportunity arose. While that might be on a casual basis I’m not sure it would include sex. If Master wanted me to play with or have sex with another man, then I would. But I don’t think I’d want that to take place at a club or to be on a casual basis. I’d want it to be thought through and planned. The same if he was to play with or have sex with another woman. Then of course we are back to the feelings of jealousy that might arise.

I once had a foursome that was casual

I’ve written before about the events that took place 6 years ago with S. We met another couple to play and have sex. It happened in a hotel room and we were all present all of the time. I had sex with both S and they other guy that evening. I had my only ever girl on girl experience and S had sex with the other woman. It was fun and extremely sexy.

It was a casual encounter in that it only happened once. But there was nothing casual fun the way it was arranged. The other woman and I spent literally months getting to know each other and a lot of time discussing what would happen.

So in conclusion

I’m not a swinger and can’t see me getting into swinging. However I would have sex / play with others at the behest of my Master. But it is unlikely that would be a casual affair.

3 Replies to “Swinging”

  1. I do understand completely your thoughts about the importance of emotion and not feeling comfortable in a “casual” situation.
    Whilst spur-of-the-moment can be exciting and indulgent, I think truly fulfilling and lasting relationships will always be with those whom you grow to know and respect and feel affection for.
    So yes, you are right, “casual swinging” is not for everyone . . . but actually I tend to think that term covers a broad range of activity and indulgence, which you already enjoy.
    Xxx – K

  2. I feel like for me now I want that connection with someone but I am most definitely not mono and so would like to explore with others but not in the sense of swinging

    Mollyx

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