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I’ve made quite a few mistakes in my life, it would be difficult not to by my age. But I’m a little hard pressed to think of any that I really regret or that I’m not a little grateful for.

I was married at 21

I think that was probably a mistake. He was my first serious boyfriend and we did what everyone thought we should. My parents frowned on us living together first, and weren’t best pleased that we lived in our first house before the wedding. I remember telling a friend soon after the wedding that I had been in love with the wedding itself. That was probably a clear indicator.

I am thankful for being married to him though, because I have my son. He is now happily married himself and is his own person. He has some of his dads more cautious traits, which hopefully won’t hold him back. But I think he has the intelligence to work things out for himself.

I stayed in the marriage after being cheated on

That too was a mistake. I should have got out before I did and certainly after I found out what a lier he was. Indeed my ex often struggled to know what the truth was. Years later when he no longer needed to tell lies he still did so. It was bizarre.

But my life has been better for the fact that we did carry on together. More of our life was happy than not and I am grateful for those happy memories. In fact the bad times fade from memory now I have distance between us. Over the past year our relationship has improved and I don’t dislike him as I once did. I’m grateful he is someone else’s problem, but happy to be his kind of friend.

I’ve stayed in jobs too long

I probably could have progressed my career and climbed higher up the ladder. But actually I am grateful for the stability I have had in my life along with the work life balance. I was able to take my son to school, take time off for concerts and plays and be there when he needed me. Promotion might have given us more material things, but we were always reasonably comfortable. Plus I have never had to work all hours because it is expected of me (not since I left clinical practice anyway).

Sometimes I’ve put my trust in the wrong people

We probably all have. Like many people, I have told people deep and personal things only for them to ghost me. I have also had confidences broken. But from where I sit now, I have few regrets. Friends come and go in life and that has to be accepted. I am sad that some people have listened to the word of others over mine, but that is something we cannot control. Life is one long learning curve and I no longer bear a grudge.

I met Master at the right time

Master and I have spoken a lot about the what ifs. What if we had met sooner, perhaps had a child together. But the question is always whether we would have found each other and even then if we would have been attracted.

We are right together for this time in our life and I am grateful for that. There is no mistake in accepting that this is the life we have and I am grateful for mine.


6 thoughts on “Being grateful for my mistakes”

  1. Sometimes life just happens as it happens, and we make our best decisions at the time, with the knowledge we have then. Our ‘mistakes’ made us to the people we are now, and brought us to where we are in life now 🙂

    Rebel xox

  2. I can really relate to a lot you have written – I have so often put my trust in the wrong people – and TBH it was difficult to trust them in the first place – but was persuaded -and meeting my man at the right time! – I did the second time 😉 x

  3. I was nodding a long to much of your post Julie. I often contemplate things in a similar way and actually apart from the blip of time I wrote about for this week’s F4TF I actually regret very little in my life. Which I am grateful for. Thank you for sharing, fabulous insights as always x

  4. Time and distance helps me to put many of my early decisions into perspective so that for me they become less about what I did or didn’t do but who I was at the time. The lovely thing about becoming older is that I make more active choices that feel right for me now.

  5. It’s important to put events and emotions in context, and when we have some distance it is easier to see them for what they were…simply a part of our past. I think it is when we become obsessed with regret over mistakes those events are taken out of context and given too much power. It sounds like you have a good picture of your past.

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