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When life gets in the way

Today’s 30 days of D/s question is about what happens when the trials of life get in the way of a dominant / submissive relationship. Like most couples, we have had our challenges. Stuff has happened that has caused us to put our M/s dynamic onto the back burner a little. The most obvious ones were when my dad was ill and then died and when I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

My dad’s illness and death

My dad died of cancer in September 2014 when Master and I had only been together for 7 months. I regret that they never met each other, because I know they would have got on well. I didn’t introduce them because by the time things were getting serious between Master and I, my dad was already pretty unwell. But it just didn’t seem the right thing to do. This did however provide me with a haven, a place to go when things got difficult.

For the last few weeks I practically lives with my parents. Caring for dad, supporting my mum and family and dealing with practicalities. But this was massively draining, and other than my son, I really had no one to turn to. Master became a great source of support for me as well as a shoulder to cry on. He had lost his dad a few years before, so was able to provide the empathy I needed.

On the face of it our M/s took a back seat as I prioritised family. But, while I was busy making massive decisions and leading my family through the pain, Master was there behind me. Looking back, our dynamic may have been in the background, but it never disappeared. Shortly after the funeral, Master took me away to Amsterdam and there we were able to reaffirm my submission and his dominance.

Breast cancer

The events of last autumn unsurprisingly hit us both very hard. During the run up to my surgery, there were numerous hospital appointments. For a while we took in the information we were given and made decisions together. This was done on an equal footing, with me having the final say about what would happen. As it was, there were no disagreements and we pretty much went along with the advice given by the doctors.

Master provided me with the most amazing support while I underwent surgery and recovered afterwards. We both struggled to come to terms with my new body shape and image. But helped each other cope. He was very firm with me during the following few months, making sure I didn’t do too much, had sufficient rest and got out and about as part of my recovery.

Just as happened when my dad died, our M/s dynamic was placed on the back burner, but never disappeared. Master continued to care for me and protected me. But this time our relationship was more established and of course by then we were living together.

Over all, I think that the big events we have encountered so far have strengthened our relationship. Both in terms of us as a couple, but also our dynamic.

Loving BDSM 30 Days of D/s

14 thoughts on “When life gets in the way”

  1. It is great that even although the M/s dynamic may take a back seat, it is still there in the way your Master takes care of you. I hope that you are recovering well from the surgery, and the adjuvant treatment if you’re going through that as well xx

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