Thinking about rules

I’ve written a few times recently about rules. In September for Food for Thought Friday I wrote about the rules of life and a little about my relationship. Then in May, for this series I wrote about how we negotiated our power exchange relationship. But in this post I’ll go into a little more detail about our rules and how they impact our relationship.

Why have rules?

In a relationship such as this, it is important to know how the power exchange dynamic will work and with whom the buck stops. The key thing for me, the slave to remember is that I have agreed to give the power and responsibility for decision making to my Master. This rule is unwritten but understood. That isn’t to say I can’t move without having to ask, far from it. But in all important issues that involve us both I do defer to him.

This takes us to one of the reasons we have such rules. It’s because I need to give up the part of myself that seeks to control everything to him. There, I’ve said it – I need this and he knows it. What is more, he wants to take that control from me so that I am free to serve him and to be his submissive, his slave.

Then why do I fight against it?

It is difficult to change habits of an adult lifetime. It is hard to admit that this is what I need and even more difficult to become dependent upon someone else. I have fought hard through life for my independence, so why would I give it up? Well, I am and I am not. On one hand I am still free to make day to day decisions. But I don’t need to do so alone, nor do I need to have the final say. I can confer and I can ask for help. But it has taken 5 years to get to the realisation that I want it.

But, we are also codependent. He is my Master but also my partner and best friend. We discuss pretty much everything we are going to do that affects me or us both. He mostly discusses things he is thinking of with me, but doesn’t have to. This is a learning process for us both and is something we continue to work on. After all, we came together later in life than many couples.

Contractual rules

We have recently been renegotiating the contract we agreed on in 2014. Much has changed since then, including that our relationship is more committed and that we live together. They can be found below.

  1. “This girl” freely and willingly gives control of her mind and her body to her Master Diogenes
  2. “This girl” freely and willingly gives her holes to her Master for His use and pleasure
  3. “This girl” freely and willingly gives her orgasms to her Master whenever He requires
  4. “This girl” freely and willingly gives her limits to her Master  
  5. “This girl” will modify her body to please Her Master, including tattoos, piercings, hairstyle and shaping of her pubic hair as He requires
  6. “This girl” freely and willingly accepts that she is her Master’s registered slave under the number 798-167-302
  7. “This girl” wants and needs to serve her Master as His Pleasing Bitch
  8. “This girl” will try to please her Master in everything she does
  9. “This girl” accepts that her Master Diogenes is her Lord
  10. “This girl” will wear a buttplug twice a week, on Tuesdays and Thursdays in order to make her arse-cunt more pleasing for her Master

Many of the specific rules we had in place previously are now encompassed within number 8. I know what they are and tend to do them without thinking. But number 10 is one that i often forget to do and in fact need to attend to right now. Since today is Tuesday.

Loving BDSM 30 Days of D/s

2 Replies to “Thinking about rules”

  1. I think you get at something important here. When you explain that, even though it is hard to for you, you need to give up control and he helps you with that.

    I struggle there, too. I am always in control when I am at work or when He is away, and when He is here, I need Him to the it from me. It is freeing. But it isn’t easy to let go.

    I’ve had people tell me I’m not really submissive if I have to work to give up control, which I think is stupid…and uninformed.

    Thanks for sharing your rules. I’m always interested to see how different people go about it.

  2. There is nothing like the experts to make you feel you are doing something wrong. When actually it is just that everyone is different. I doubt any submissive person can really hand on heart say it is easy to give up control all of the time. Thanks for your comments as always Brigit xx

Your thoughts are always welcome

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