Photographs of me

I am kneeling on the bed my ankles in a spreader bar. There is a clamp attached to my labia. My wrists are cuffed.
A photo from 2014, only recently shown on the blog


It’s been a while since I participated in Food For thought Friday. But this topic caught my eye and so having just written my Wicked Wednesday post, as I cross the English Channel on a ferry, I seem to be on a roll!

Before the internet


The first photos of me wearing little or nothing (other than on the beach, but somehow that’s different) were taken about 15 years ago. I’d got chatting online to a man who lived in Scotland. There was little chance of us meeting up, but we partook in some phone sex. He sent photos of himself to me and I did the same. There was a certain thrill in sending a naked photo of myself in the shower to a semi stranger. It never occurred to me that they might be shared further or could end up on the internet. Thankfully he is a trustworthy guy that I am still in touch with, though in a completely vanilla way these days.

Getting involved in the internet era


Until the advent of cameras with phones and the ability to share photos digitally I had never taken a naked photo of myself. Nor had anyone else taken one of me. The major issue (if I’d even thought of doing it) was that you had to send photos off to be developed. Or else take them to a shop. The idea of collecting photos that people might considered risky never entered my head.


It wasn’t really until I met Master that I posted photos of myself on my blog. There had been the odd one or two, but I made sure I was unrecognisable. Most of the photos I used at the time were of other people, often taken from Tumblr blogs. S took a few photos of me when we were together, and I think I posted one or two of them. Indeed I don’t actually have many more of myself from that time.

A new age


From the beginning of this relationship though, Master photographed me naked or wearing various leather harnesses. He also took photos of me during play and still does. Then once I joined Sinful Sunday and then February Photofest I also began to take more images of myself. These have usually been with my mobile, but on occasion with my digital camera and tripod.


For a long time I made sure my face was hidden or distorted in some way. But more recently, since work and potentially losing my career became less of an issue I have become much more brazen. There are images I would hesitate to show and do. These are photos of my vulval area. Though I have done so on occasion.


I don’t really fear people I know finding my blog and exposing me. The only people who I want to protect now are my son and close family. But I think the chance of one of them discovering pictures of me online are slim. If it happened, I’d have to deal with the embarrassment but I don’t have a reputation or career to lose. That doesn’t mean I’m not careful, because I am. But this blog and others in this genre are relatively niche. So I feel it is worth the risk. Plus I Iike sharing my images with you all.

Rituals


When I was thinking about writing this post, I told myself that I and we don’t do rituals. But of course, life is full of them. I have fewer now that I’m not working, but I am a creature of habit and tend to do things in the same way a lot of the time. For example I tend to shower in the same way, washing my hair first, applying conditioner and then leaving it on till I’ve washed. I always put my contact lenses in before cleaning my teeth but that has a lot to do with not wanting tooth paste in my eyes. Master has a similar routine, though his has more things involved and takes longer. If I’m in a hurry I always jump in the shower before him.


When it comes to life in general though, we don’t tend to go in for many rituals. We have a few rules that could be described as rituals, for example wearing a butt plug on set days. Sex and play contains the rituals of me describing myself in the third person, him calling me this girl, slut or whatever. I always ask for an orgasm, it’s a rule but a ritual too.


Master is much more structured in the way he does things in general than I am. He has suffered from OCD and has told me how he went through phases of having to check things multiple times. For him, rituals have often been no joke. Thankfully at the moment there is little sign of that at the moment, save for occasionally asking me if he locked the house or car door.


Now the structure of work is gone and we are free to do as we want when we want, we have been able to leave many rituals behind us. Things you have to do at certain times to make a company function. The need to get the same train to work, to walk the same route from the station, take lunch at the same time etc.
So, while some rituals are part of routine life and others are in place because we choose them I am happy to say that we keep our ritualised life to a minimum. We like spontaneity too.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked