This is something that I never did. When I started to read about Dominance and submission the one thing I knew deep down was that I didn’t want to try such a thing with my then husband. There are a number of reasons for this.
The relationship has run it’s course
We had been married for nearly 30 years when I strayed. The relationship had limped along for years, more a friendship than a love affair. Of course, it is inevitable that a long-lasting relationship will lack that first flush of passion. Ours involved very little sex by the end, but it was more fundamental than that. I actually began to dislike being together, living in the same house. The little irritations that had been there all along started to play on my mind and feel much bigger than they probably were.
When I began to look for more excitement in my sex life and for a different type of relationship I knew that he wouldn’t be able to give me what I wanted, no matter how hard we tried.
He is not able to be dominant and I don’t want to be
I’m as sure as I can be that my husband would have been amenable to trying D/s. But he really isn’t able to be dominant all of the time. No doubt I could have switched with him, but the more I discovered about D/s the more I knew that would never work. I craved someone who would not only take me in hand in the bedroom, but who would carry it through.
The benefit of time and a good M/s relationship has proved me right
Looking at my life now and the interactions I still have with my ex show me that I am right. Also my observation of his current relationship is that my ex’s new partner is the more dominant one. She has picked up where I left off and provides the guiding hand that I became so tired of providing.
I know that I need the dominance of my Master. I need him to provide me with structure and control. I need the sex life we have, one which is kinky and exciting. I want and need the play that he plans and controls.
I know that many people have moved from a long standing vanilla relationship into a D/s one. I know that the change has saved a number of relationships. But I am sure that it would have been a disaster for me and may have prevented me from finding the happiness I now have.