On the surface I appear to be able to make friends easily, but those friendships are often superficial. I don’t have a special person I have known for ever that I can confide in. Nor do I have what might be described as a ‘bestie’. I know lots of people and sometimes I meet up or go out with one or more of them. But I can honestly say I am not really close with any of them.
This doesn’t necessarily upset or worry me. This was obviously how it was meant to be. It is partly down to the lack of time I have invested in friendship, but then it does take two. I don’t seem to have been the kind of person others wanted to invest in me as a friend. Facebook has been useful in reigniting longstanding friendships, but hasn’t made me any closer to those people. But that feels fine. We can observe each others lives and offer support and encouragement. In some cases I have made online friends who, although we haven’t met in person, feel as close as those I just don’t see anymore.
This blog has introduced me to a whole load of new people, some of whom are now more than acquaintances. We have something significant in common with each other in a way that I didn’t always feel at school or work. We share intimate parts of our lives and relationships with each other, something I haven’t done with many other people.
I have now met a reasonable number of fellow bloggers and others at Eroticon and can see some of those relationships developing over time. We also attend Munch’s and events locally and have hit it off with a number of people.
I don’t feel the need to invite those people around for dinner, go Christmas shopping or on holiday with them. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t friends and a few will stay the course.
I can honestly say I haven’t fallen out with many friends over the years and I am still on good terms with those I interact with. Instead I have the love of Master and my family and a few friends I would go to if I needed them. And anyway, I live with the man who is the best friend I have ever had.