There is an acronym widely used in the BDSM world: your kink is not my kink (YKINMK). Added to which Your kink is ok (YKIOK).
This recognises that no two relationships are the same and that we need to respect that fact. Many people portray kink and BDSM as if there were only one way (a true way). But of course that is not the case.
I write a lot about my relationship with my Master, which we define as Master / slave. We have few protocols and rules and our dynamic ebbs and flows. It works for us and we take it very seriously. But the M/s relationship of other couples will be different and that is fine with us. We respect their relationship and wouldn’t dream of telling them they are doing it wrong.
But there are people out there who take great pleasure in advising others that their way is the true way and that yours is wrong. You can find quite a bit of this kind of advice on Fetlife and some message boards and chat sites. Generally I try to keep clear of those these days.
A great place for information and advice is Missy and His Lordship’s website: The Safeword D/s Club. There you will find forums and chat which will help you make up your own mind. Of course there are others, such as fetish.com, alt.com where Master and I met. But you always need to beware that not everyone is who they say they are. Plus there will always be people who try to tell you that their way is the only way.
Some years ago, fellow bloggers coined another acronym – TTWD – The thing we do. The thing you do is fine, it is unique to you and I guess it means the same as YKINMK. Remember though, YKIOK. Just don’t ram it down my throat, keep it to your blog. And I’ll do the same.
