At what age do we leave our girlhood behind and instead become a woman. Adulthood for me was technically reached at 18, but in many ways I was still a girl. I hadn’t yet had sex, didn’t have many responsibilities and hadn’t yet voted in a general election. Emotionally I hadn’t fully developed and did so over the next 2 or 3 years. Older family members were used to 21 being the age when you were considered of age. I received many cards on my 21st birthday with keys on them. I was still 21 when I married my ex and took on a mortgage, a responsible job (qualified nurse) and all of the baggage that comes with it. During my 20’s I still considered myself a girl in many ways and then I became a parent and was definitely a woman.
Fast forward to 2014 and I met a man who insisted and still insists on calling me a girl. His girl. He also had me calling myself ‘this girl’.
When I started my blog in 2012, I referred to myself as Joolz and called the blog world of Joolz. S invariably called me Joolz and actually that had been something of a nickname during my teenage years. But Master felt Joolz was someone I had been. Now I was to be ‘this girl’.
Some quotes from my blog
New Dom would like me to refer to myself in the third person when i am in submissive role. He feels it will help me to explore my submission more and to hand more of myself to him (or something like that). At the same time i will call him Sir or Master, or as a further suggestion Lord. I nearly fell off my chair at that one and he wondered if i was being a little bratty! i expect i was, but i think that this girl will call Him Sir or Master rather than Lord!15 Feb 2014
Who are you? He asked when she had given Him that huge orgasm and had on his instructions kept it coming.6 May 2014
Who was she?
This girl. she was this girl. she was also this slut, this bitch, this whore. She was His submissive. She is this girl.
He smiled. He loves the feeling of power this gives to Him. This girl likes to know that she had given herself, all of herself to Him. So much so, that at these moments she no longer has a name.
If anyone had told me 9 months ago that I would again be anyone’s girl I would have laughed in their faces. Me, a 50 something year old woman, someone’s girl?28 October 2014
But now, not only do I like being His girl, but I love the fact that is what He calls me all of the time. What is more, I love to be in a place where where we are anonymous and where I can call Him Master, even in a public place.
The power and control He has over me, His girl is often subtle. So much so, that no one else can tell it is there. But right now, it is ever present, even as now from a thousand miles away.
Reflections on being ‘this girl’
I know that many Dominant’s use the term girl to refer to their submissive. It has nothing to do with age play but does relate to the power dynamic.
Over the years, I have not only got used to being His girl but embrace it. When Master tells me to call myself ‘this girl’, he is reminding me of who and what I am. Sometimes I need that reminder.