Relationships – F4TF

I do love to keep up with the various memes, but with the added pressure of February Photofest I am struggling this week. So, this is going to be a bit briefer than usual. Food 4 Thought Friday is about relationships.

Casual sex, dating, friends with benefits, hook-up, one night stand, fuck-buddy; have you ever had one (or more) of these arrangements? What is the difference?

I am not the most experienced of daters, since I was married to the same man for 30 years. But I have dated without sex (during my marriage), had a hook up with a man that led to a relationship (see below) and then to us being fuck buddies. I guess some people set out to have a specific type of date / arrangement but for me it is an after the fact thing. I only know what it turned out to be once it was done.

What is the most interesting way you ever met a partner?

Back in the 90s people contacted each other by placing an advertisement in the local newspaper. My husband was ‘working away‘ a lot at the time and I was fed up and lonely. I didn’t meet a partner. But I did form a friendship with a local guy for a while. He told me my husband definitely wasn’t ‘working away’ and he was right! He and I never had sex but he was great company.

Have you ever had a hook-up become a relationship? How do you know that it had happened?

My first D/s encounter with S was meant to be a hook up. But we enjoyed ourselves so much it turned into more. That and I was keen and willing to travel. I know now that if I hadn’t, it would have fizzled out much sooner than it did.

How would you tell a potential partner you want a non-monogamous or D/s relationship? If you are already in one, how did it evolve?

I don’t think non-monogamy is for me, since I was in that kind of relationship and it ended badly. The other woman brought out tendencies in me I didn’t like. I don’t really desire another man as such. I think that if we wanted to introduce others it would be for play only. We are already in a D/s relationship so I don’t need to ask for that.

If your relationship is poly, what is its principal dynamic? Do you have a primary? A few fuck buddies? Is everyone equal? Does everyone know?

It isn’t – see above. There wasn’t much time for people to know about the poly relationship as it only lasted a few months. I was the second and didn’t take to it much.

What does your ideal relationship look like? Are you already in it?

I’m happier than I have been for a long time, if ever. So yes, I’m in it.

2 Replies to “Relationships – F4TF”

  1. I’m with you on the relationship thing. Quite a few times I’ve only been able to put a label on what they were in the aftermath and the circumstances that follow them may result in them not turning out the way you envisaged at the time.

Your thoughts are always welcome

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