Being Celibate

During our marriage there were long periods of time when my husband and I abstained from sex. That is we abstained from sex with each other and sometimes I didn’t masturbate either. But were we celibate?

I had a baby and he had an affair

My husband was having an affair when I was pregnant. Of course I didn’t know at the time, else things might have turned out differently. In my 20’s I was less interested in sex than I might have been and I hadn’t even worked out how to masturbate. He strayed because I was a nurse working shifts and he saw an opportunity. But I was often tired and disinterested. Maybe I didn’t actually fancy him all that much.

At 29 I had a baby and he took up my time. Hubby didn’t often ask for sex and I wasn’t too bothered. Over the first couple of years of my son’s life I might have been celibate, to be honest it is difficult to remember. Gradually my body awoke and I wanted it to be satisfied. But until the affair ended he was getting something better with her. I got a vibrator and was no longer celibate. I just abstained from sex.

The less sex you have the less you need it

Orgasms from my rabbit were more satisfying than anything I got from my husband. sometimes I even used it when he had gone to sleep after he had come. He seemed oblivious to the needs of a woman despite the affair. However I found it difficult to forget that he had been with her. The less sex we had, the less it bothered me. There were years when we may have had sex 2 or 3 times.

At this time we were both masturbating, but not together. It is a wonder our relationship lasted anywhere near as long as it did, though we were friendly enough and rarely argued for much of it.

Could I abstain or be celibate now

I have had more sex in the past 5 years than in the rest of my adult life. There was also a period of time before that when I was having sex every 3-6 weeks. Both of these partners were far more experienced than my husband and they have a higher sex drive. I have learned to love and appreciate sex in its many forms and positions. I have discovered the joy of mutual masturbation, something I turned my nose up when married. Though this was mainly because we were rubbish at turning each other on. This is not the case with Master.

We are both in our late 50s now (he later than me), but there is no reason we can’t continue to have sex for as long as we want and are physically able. I don’t think I would willingly choose to abstain from something I enjoy so much.

We have often discussed the paucity of sex in my life before my 50th year and whether I regret anything. I don’t regret meeting, marrying and having a child with the man I loved at the time. I do regret hanging around quite so long when I knew I should get out. However, we make the best decisions we can at the time. What I have now makes up for everything and shows me that celibacy definitely isn’t for me.

There’s a video explaining the history and definition here

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

5 Replies to “Being Celibate”

  1. Interesting little video there – My abstinence was kind of forced on me so was that celibacy? Glad you having lots of sex, i am too 😉 xx

  2. I’ve been celibate in waves through my marriage, but not by active decision to be. sex just hasn’t been at the top of my list of priorities. For me, it hit for the first time with the birth of my child. But I think that is sort of natural.

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