Yesterday morning, in my Wicked Wednesday post I wrote about the coming couple of weeks and my hopes for the impending surgery. In the afternoon I saw my consultant and now have the treatment plan.
Unfortunately the tumour is twice the size that showed on ultrasound. I was reassured it doesn’t mean it has grown that much over the past month. But that this kind of cancer is difficult to measure. This means I need a mastectomy rather than lumpectomy.
The options for a breast reconstruction were explained to us. I am really not keen on having one largish breast and one completely flat area for ever more. So, I was hoping for a reconstruction at the time of surgery. However, the surgeon explained that the radiotherapy could damage a silicone implant. With a 40% chance of requiring further surgery because of this, we felt this was a no go. So, in a years time I will have a reconstruction by a plastic surgeon, that will take some of my own tissue to be formed into a breast. People, I get a tummy tuck too!!
I have tried hard to be positive over the past month, since the biopsy was taken. But I feel the rug has been pulled from beneath me and I am struggling emotionally now. Thankfully, I only have till Monday to consider the decisions that have been taken. By that evening my right breast will be gone. I am luckier than most, I doubt many people have the library of photos we have of my breasts. But I don’t know how painful it will be to look at them afterwards. Especially in those first few days.
I intend to try to be body positive about this and when the time is right I will show my body on my blog.
The road ahead will be challenging, but I have Master to support me and I have nice things to do. Today we leave for our music festival until Sunday and will return when I am well enough to do so.
Thank you for the kind words of support here on my blog and twitter, it helps to be part of this wonderful community.