Like many women I have a problem with the way I perceive my own body. I currently weigh close to my maximum ever, though it has fallen a little lately. But even when I was a good 2 stone lighter than I am now, I struggled with my body image. I am tall, and can carry off the extra weight to some extent, but I would rather be slim.
My ex often used to pass comment when he thought I was putting on weight, not always in a nice way. But also, he rarely complemented me on the way I looked, or told me I was especially sexy or attractive. Don’t think he never did so, but usually it was about a hair cut or new dress. Well that’s my perception.
Master on the other hand likes to see my body. He compliments me all of the time, and tells me I turn him on. He wants me wearing clothes that he feels show off the best of my body. Also, he wants access to the parts he wants to be able to touch. He takes photos of me that he considers sexy and worthy of sharing and I do so too. With him, I feel happy and safe in my body. To an extent.
This might be why I had managed to lose weight and then have put it all on. Though I usually lose and gain in this cyclical way. Complacency had set in and having believed I looked sexy to him and only he mattered I stopped worrying. Now though I hate the way I look to myself, what is more the clothes I bought 2 summers ago don’t fit.
So, when I post photos of myself naked and semi naked, I will have thought long and hard about putting them out there. He likes them, I like to show my body, I am an exhibitionist. But body image is a thing for me and I choose to lose weight right now. If I can I will keep the weight off after, but that is a whole other thing.