Body image

Like many women I have a problem with the way I perceive my own body. I currently weigh close to my maximum ever, though it has fallen a little lately. But even when I was a good 2 stone lighter than I am now, I struggled with my body image. I am tall, and can carry off the extra weight to some extent, but I would rather be slim.

My ex often used to pass comment when he thought I was putting on weight, not always in a nice way. But also, he rarely complemented me on the way I looked, or told me I was especially sexy or attractive. Don’t think he never did so, but usually it was about a hair cut or new dress. Well that’s my perception.

Master on the other hand likes to see my body. He compliments me all of the time, and tells me I turn him on. He wants me wearing clothes that he feels show off the best of my body. Also, he wants access to the parts he wants to be able to touch. He takes photos of me that he considers sexy and worthy of sharing and I do so too. With him, I feel happy and safe in my body. To an extent.

This might be why I had managed to lose weight and then have put it all on. Though I usually lose and gain in this cyclical way. Complacency had set in and having believed I looked sexy to him and only he mattered I stopped worrying. Now though I hate the way I look to myself, what is more the clothes I bought 2 summers ago don’t fit.

So, when I post photos of myself naked and semi naked, I will have thought long and hard about putting them out there. He likes them, I like to show my body, I am an exhibitionist. But body image is a thing for me and I choose to lose weight right now. If I can I will keep the weight off after, but that is a whole other thing.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

10 Replies to “Body image”

  1. It’s wonderful when a partner loves you no matter your shape, size, or body type… but as you say, how we feel about ourselves is most important. Good luck on getting back to a place that makes you happy and comfortable!!!

  2. I have a very similar experience. I have put on weight over the last couple of years. It makes no difference to Michael but does to me and I am determined to get rid of at least some of it and get back into the pretty polka dot dresses I bought a while ago

    Mollyx

  3. I always say that it does not matter what weight you are, as long as you are keeping yourself healthy – and this is true unless it matters to YOU. Thanks for such an honest post Julie x

  4. I am right here with you (and Molly). I want to lose some weight because I feel too heavy and notice that my knees cannot carry all of it anymore, but Master T still says that he finds me sexy. He always says that if I want to lose weight I have to do it for myself, not for him.

    Rebel xox

  5. I work so hard to not give in to my desire to diet. I know that sounds weird, but it’s because I do it badly. I eat next to nothing then comfort eat too much. So for me, I have to remember that I deserve balance in my food as I do in the rest of my life…so I don’t use diet as a self punishment.

    It’s hard, getting over negative body image. But it’s worth the trying. I’m still trying hard. I can see you are too. I wish you well on your journey.

    1. Thank you. A life of dieting has been a bad thing for me, it is healthy eating that I need too. Definitely worth the effort when it comes to body image xx

  6. So many of us in the same boat that it seems destined to capsize and leave us all floating amongst the sharks. We are own worst enemies, so, like you, I am glad to have a man who finds me sexier than I find myself. We are lucky ladies, indeed.

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