Blogging A-Z 2018: N

Naked

He likes to see me without clothing, naked so he can look, admire, touch and to feel. I struggle with my own nakedness in a place that isn’t bed. Indeed for many years I didn’t even go to bed naked. When my son was small and I got up to him at night, but also before that and afterwards.

These past years, since I have known Master though my confidence at being naked has grown. I wander around the house naked, but then often I am alone there. In front of him too I rarely cover myself before dressing, except perhaps in a towel.

I know he would like to see more of the undressed me. He would like me to sit beside him on the sofa, naked while he is dressed. He would like me to go about my house work, perhaps some nude cooking. But something stops me from taking that final step. Partly it is the weather, even with heating it can feel cold in the house. But mostly it is because of my own image of my body.

I am all for being body positive, unless that body belongs to me. I have recently gained much of the weight I have previously lost. The cause is something of a mystery, other than I clearly eat more calories than I burn off. I plan to try to rectify things and until I do, I hate the sight of my body more than usual. However, even after losing the weight I had struggled. So, perhaps that’s an excuse.

Perhaps I just need to do more of what he likes and wants and take off my clothes until I am naked. Hopefully the weather this summer will lend itself to such a thing.