This is the third year that I have participated in Blogging A-Z. This year i am going to try to make my topics a little more mainstream. They will, however clearly link to kink and may on occasion be NSFW.
E is for Equilibrium
It would be wonderful to say that I am firing on all cylinders and that my life was in equilibrium. But I am not sure it is.
So many good things have happened to me over the past few years. Unhitching myself from a marriage that threatened to over power and unhinge me and then finding the man who I wish to share my life with are just two. Indeed the stressed and emotional woman I was in 2014 when we met is no more. I am happier than ever, clear about the person I am and clear where I am heading.
But still the same things trouble me. My ex hasn’t given me the final things I require to break through. The house remains ours rather than theirs because his new partner hasn’t sold her place. Plus we remain married in law.
These are two areas of my life in which Master will not intervene. So it is up to us. I despair at my inability to force action despite numerous conversations. Apparently her house has been valued, but still I must wait in final stasis.
Last year I blamed my mum because she hadn’t moved house. My brothers’ because they didn’t pull their weight. But those things no longer ring true.
Equilibrium for me and for us will be found when we are free of my ex, my house and everything that goes with it. I know we are close, just not close enough.
I am beginning to wonder what needs to happen next to make our dream a reality. To allow me to move in with Master and to let me resign my job.
I need equilibrium in my life. It is within touching distance but now quite close enough to be reality.