The Food For Thought Friday prompt on sexting throws up so many memories for me. Even before I knew I was interested in sex blogging, or indeed in having an active kinky sex life I was already sexting. Looking back, on my marriage there were key points when I looked for excitement. I just didn’t know what I was looking for.
The early days – pre sexting
There was a time when there were no mobile phones, and few home computers. Even once most of us had a phone we used it for calls. Texts were expensive and you only called people you knew. Plus you tended to turn the thing off when not in use.
In around 1998 or so we bought our first computer. We put it in the dining room and my son played games there. After he was in bed, I played the games too. I remember staying up to 2am one weekend night, much to my husband’s disgust, building a theme park. Later I learned (probably through my son) that you could engage with other gamers. Plus, I built a website based on the Dragon Ball Z cartoons. I was self taught and proud of myself. Next I found themed chatrooms. Somehow I found myself chatting in real time to people around the world.
Chatting and Sexting
It all started very innocuously, around the millennium. I had a thing for men in glasses and joined a chat room with that theme. There were plenty of weird people, but also some very interesting and sane individuals. I spent hours talking about anything and everything with people I felt I was starting to know, until one day I encountered someone who sparked something in me. Private chat had come into play, he was in the midst of a marriage break up and I pretty miserable in mine. The chat became a little more raunchy and before I knew it we were typing suggestive and sexual words and sentences to each other. Looking back, I am sure he was a seasoned professional, but for me this was new. Still sitting at our desktop computer, by now in the hall I entered a world from which I have probably never emerged.
Phone sexting – Text, calls and photos
Looking back, my initial foray into the sexting world was pretty tame. It wasn’t until I had a laptop with broadband that I explored actual sex related chat rooms. Sending photos took hours, even with broadband so, given the opportunity, once you had texted the next step was phone sex. Later, broadband improved and photos were possible. But sexting as we now know it didn’t become possible until our phones were enabled with 3 and then 4g.
It is really only through this quick look back at my sexting history that I can actually recognise the frustrations I felt. Here I was, a wife and mother chatting to strangers online. My husband wasn’t happy, mainly because I wasn’t paying him attention. He though was often watching TV or asleep of an evening. Things only went awry really when one or two men I chatted to sent me pictures and I, stupidly didn’t delete them as I should have. I am not sure I ever wanted what they sent, but felt excited that they did.
The world of dial up, early broadband and mobiles of the time was innocent in comparison to what we have now. But it opened up a world I didn’t know existed and in a way led me to where I am today. Sexting was the start.