There are times when I feel that our relationship together is just the same as everyone else’s. We have our ups and downs, we bicker and argue. But there are times when we need to make up,
make love have a kind of loving sex and apologise for things that were said. We are good friends, we laugh and we play. We travel to lots of interesting places and spend as much time as we can together.
This is a different relationship to the one I had before. The power dynamic for one thing. The control he exerts over me only become apparent when there is a disagreement of if I need to defer to him. During our weekdays apart it is difficult to recognise his influence as I go about my working day. His influence over my actions is implicit rather than explicit, unnoticeable to others. But at the weekends and when we are on holiday together the dynamic changes and I find myself deferring to his decision-making more and more.
Our relationship is not one where he micromanages me. I don’t ask to spend money, since it is mine to spend. But I do ask what he thinks we should do, where we should go, what we should eat. I rarely take a decision these days without some level of consultation.
Sometimes my position as slave means that I do something I would rather not. This morning I was a little hung over; a little too much local wine passed my lips last night. While I showered and dressed he was reading my blog and getting aroused by my words and the picture. So he demanded I kneel before him, suck him off and provide relief. In my past life, I would have turned him down, but since I am the slave I now on I sank down to my knees. I knelt on the cushion he so helpfully provided and took my prize.
I am the slave, he is the Master.