It’s been a while since I participated in Masturbation Monday, but since this is a very special week for this wonderful meme, I felt I should write something.
Naked but for her stockings, she is bound by her wrists and ankles to the table.
Her head rests slightly over its edge.
She can see Him. Fully clothed but for his hands, forearms and that long cock.
As He strokes himself, just out of her reach she feels the familiar throbbing in her groins.
She writhes, clenching her buttocks, pulling her pelvic floor muscles in. Intensifying the feelings of arousal.
She looks longingly at the cock she worships.
He grins at her and asks “what do you want girl?’
“your cock Master” she responds. If only her hands were free to reach for him. But if they were free, then she wouldn’t be experiencing the excitement of being restrained.
He looks at her pussy, gleaming with juices.
“Do you want to cum girl?”
She very much wants to cum, but wants to feel His hands on her body. Wants that cock in her mouth.
“I do Master, but I want your cock more”
“Greedy girl” he laughs. But moves closer so she can take the cock in her hungry mouth. Gradually He pushes further into her mouth.
She begins to suck and Master groans with pleasure
The intensity of arousal in her own body increases
“Stop sucking and hold it” He instructs. She does as she is told, but finds this only increases the intensity of her desire. He pushes and she feels the tip brushing the back of her throat.
She feels his fingers exploring her labia, feels him gently pinch her clitoris, stroke around the piercing. She concentrates on holding back, all the time her mouth filled to capacity, gagged by the thing she wants and needs to suck.
“You may cum girl” He says and almost simultaneously her body seems to explode with the orgasm. Her wrists and ankles straining against their restraints.
He allows her to continue to suck. He helps things along by stroking His own shaft too. At last He shoots His load into her hot mouth.
She has her second prize of the day.
This weekend we have made some significant progress towards being ready to sell my house. I hired a skip and Master and I spent yesterday mainly filling it with stuff from the garden. My ex was fantastic at moving and removing things but often anything that he didn’t want to put into his car and take away to the recycling centre he just dumped it into the garden. All of that stuff has been removed, along with any over hanging bush or tree. There is still time to add more stuff to the pile but already I feel closer to my final destination.
Last night I did something which in hindsight was stupid. I messaged Master’s former slave to ask if she was ok. What I received, after an affirmative response was something of a rant. Apparently He lied to her, He treated her badly, He only got divorced because it is me he is with now and not her (rubbish as his ex initiated it as I had already told her). The funny thing is that while message after message came through to my phone, I was busy elsewhere. Instructed to kneel before Him and take His cock in my mouth. It was only this morning that I read back what she had written. I have now taken her off of my Facebook and messenger and won’t make the same mistake!
Kneeling at His feet last night, naked I took Master’s cock in my mouth and was instructed not to suck. Holding that wonderful organ in my mouth without sucking it in was difficult. But at those moments when His control over me is paramount I tend to follow instructions to the letter.
My compliance is less so when we are apart. I have a set of rules to follow, but don’t always comply. Why is that? Probably, I need that day by day attention, need to be made to focus on my role and purpose. That is just one of the reasons that I am concentrating on the job in hand, in getting myself ready to move in with Master.
Just one reason. I love the closeness we have now. I love that we can do things together. I know that I want to be in the position that I can serve Him every day. I know that I am on the right path and Master is helping me get there.
We have been enjoying a wonderful summer together. A trip to France in May was followed by our holiday in Sicily, then there was a weekend away to visit my brother and then last weekend apart. Me with my mum in France, Master with his daughter in Amsterdam. In between there have been nights out, the theatre, the cinema, meals, trips to the pub…..
The Olympics started last weekend which serves as a reminder of just how long it has taken me to get to this point in my life. Four years ago I had been seeing S for a few months. I was living with the euphoria of a new relationship, my first for over 30 years and I was yet to have to face up to my actions. Life was good, but I was busily dancing around the reality of what I was doing. That I was doing to my ex what had previously done to me. He was oblivious and yet to meet the woman he now lives with, yet to lie to me about his whereabouts. I was happy in the illusion that things with S would turn into something long lasting, that he was the Dom I wanted and needed. It would be another 18 months before that relationship would finally end and I would meet Master.
Fast forward to now and life remains kind of scary, though in a different way. I have spent this entire year preparing to sell the house and move in with Master, but still I am not there. I procrastinate on a weekly if not daily basis. The goals I set myself 6 months ago for today are still not complete. I want to make this move, but it takes more energy than I sometimes feel I possess.
That final step is scary. It means giving up my home and moving to somewhere that while I am comfortable to exist in, is not somewhere I can yet call that place. Home. A conversation with Master last night brought home to me that I am still not sure that moving in with him is what I truly want. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be with him every day, not just at weekends and holidays with the odd extra day and night thrown in. But giving up this new found independence, my own place, where I have space, solitude, even silence is proving hard to do. Plus there is the knowledge that I will be living in a home I don’t own and never will, a place that if something happened to him I might not be able to stay in (even though he has told me that he will make plans for that possibility.
But, perhaps speaking my fears aloud last night did some good. I have spent some of today with a new energy to sort through things and I know that I have already planned some of the things I need to do over the coming days and into next week.
This was never going to be easy, perhaps it shouldn’t have taken me this length of time to sort myself out, but I know that I am moving ever closer to what I need to do and where I need to be.
It’s just that, it really is kind of scary.