Playing in a public place

There are a number of things we have done in a public place. I have often worn no underwear beneath my clothes when out, either shopping, visiting public places or perhaps eating in a restaurant. Most of the time I am oblivious to what people either notice or think. Personally I am of the opinion that people are so wrapped up in their own lives, or perhaps their phones to know or care what others do around them. Indeed I frequently climb over people on the train who don’t even know I was sitting next to them, so much are they absorbed by their phone or tablet computer! Master and I often observe others in the course of their daily lives and wonder if they even notice us. And not just because we are people in our 50’s and so invisible to younger people. 

Anyway, I digress. The one thing that I haven’t done is to play and be played with in public. I have had sex in a public place, but unseen by public eyes. I have been touched up (frequently) in public, and as far as I know been unseen by anyone. I say as far as I know since no one has ever indicated otherwise or called the police. 
We have spoken a lot about visiting a club and playing in public. This appeals to me on a number of levels. While Master has quite a lot of equipment, his playroom at home is restricted in size and range of larger equipment. But mainly when we play at home there is just us. We can’t watch others and they can’t see us. More than anything that is for me the next level of kink that I aspire to climb. 
I own kinky clothes that would have more impact in a public place. I know people that I would love to see in a different arena from the local munch. I am an extrovert and I like an audience. But what I don’t know until I try is if I would like to play in a public place.
Would I be as keen for others to see me in pain, to whimper and protest. Would I want to admit that I am aroused by those feelings. Would I want to be seen by an audience in a situation that today I have only experienced in private?
Yes, actually I think I do. 

The green light

At last it seems that progress has been made. This morning while I was making my morning tea and getting my breakfast ready a text came through from hubby telling me he was ready to get the house valued. In fact he seemed keen to put it up for sale more quickly than I do. There are a few bits of decorating and some more decluttering to be done first. I believe that these will maximise the sale price and also mean there is less to do before I move out.

This weekend Master and I put up a new light in the dining room. It has been sitting around waiting to be installed for over 2 years and having been let down by my brother a number of times it is now fixed and looks great. I have also cleared out some old papers (the shredding machine was working overtime) and also filled up my garden waste bin with weeds and shrub branches ready for the collection on Wednesday.
Now I feel I have the green light for a proper structured programme of work over the summer months. Some times can be done after work, others will be weekend projects. I also plan to contact a plasterer in the next few days as the hall, stairs and landing is badly in need of some attention.
At last though it feels something will really happen. At last he is ready to move on.
As far as I am concerned there is no stalling and no turning back from here on.
Post script Oct 2018

This was written in May 2016 and yet took another 2 years before I actually moved from the house. There were things that needed doing within and outside of the house, but that was not the main reason for the delay. Suddenly hubby asked if I would be willing for his new partner to buy my half of the house. This meant we had to wait for her to undertake work in her house and then to sell. Right now, the wait feels worth it as everything came together at once. But it did take an awful long time!

Keeping tally

Being written on is a feature of this relationship and is something this slave have come to really enjoy. There is something both erotic and humiliating about having words such as slut, whore, property, Master’s or indeed MPB written on your body. Master frequently gets his sharpie pen out and writes on his girl’s flesh. Usually he writes on the breast or lower abdomen and he seems to get quite a thrill out of it as does this girl. Often it takes some days for the ink to rub / be washed off and there is a certain thrill to standing in front of the mirror after a few days and catching sight of his words. Something quite new is the orgasm tally for the weekend / night / day.

Master loves giving orgasms to his slave. He tries to deny her for periods of time, but since he enjoys the look on her, the way her back arches and body shudders he is more in favour of multiple orgasms than none at all.

But all orgasms are controlled and they are counted and every time the slave is given permission to cum she thanks him and tell him who it belongs to.

This weekend’s tally is 11 – 6 (shown in the picture) yesterday and 5 this morning. Master keeps count as this girl finds it difficult to do so, given that the orgasms might come (or cum) close together and will have caused some degree of sexual fogginess of the brain. Number 1 was definitely after he had used his tongue on this girls clitoris, and was also tweaking a nipple. Another was when Master instructed the slave to touch herself and bring herself off. Others were during penetration – His cock inside while Master rubbed her, or as his cock moves in and out of her.

Master loves to get this girl into such a state of arousal that she is almost in a permanent state of orgasm. Such a thing happened yesterday and again this morning. Indeed this morning this girl almost orgasmed by stroking Master’s cock with her hands, feeling the soft flesh, noting the contrast between that softness and the hardness of His erection. He began to feel one of her nipples and she exclaimed how wet she was, just through the act of touching him. His fingers moved to feel that wetness and he asked if should would like to cum. Of course she wanted to and within seconds another was added to the tally.

As something of a part 2, here is the photo this girl took 2 years ago yesterday when Master had first asked her to become His slave:

The things that need to be done

I sometimes feel that I am all talk and very little action. That I should be dealing with ending this thing once and for all but am failing.

Yesterday at work a ‘lunch and learn’ was held. Colleagues are taking it in turn to teach / inform / instruct others in various topics they have expertise in. Chatting to my closest work colleagues I joked that my lunch and learn topic would be ‘How not to end a long term relationship’

I have lived here alone for around 15 months. Hubby moved out permanently just before Christmas 2014 and my son in around February of 2015. The latter is now happily living with his girlfriend. Hubby is living with his girlfriend in what he would have me believe is some kind of landlady / lodger arrangement. I am not convinced. I applied to the local council for the reduction in local taxes that you can get if a single person lives in a property. I heard nothing, so applied again. It seems that he remains on the electoral register and that is how they judge entitlement. But changes to the way the electoral register is run mean that an individual have to move their own address for this purpose. He has not done so because his lady friend claims the reduction. I could drop them both in the s**t but don’t really want to be that vindictive. So I pay full rate council tax.

I have asked him to pack his remaining clothes and he agreed he would but was informed he has no where to put his things at her place! That was several weeks ago. I asked him to stop turning up every day, but was told that her shower is broken and he doesn’t like to take a bath (the last part is true, but not my problem).

Yesterday I saw him as I was home early. We chatted about recent events pretty easily. I told him that my aunt was over from New Zealand and that I was planning to take my mum and aunt to visit other family soon. All was calm and relaxed as we talked about other times Gwen has visited. But later, he texted me to say he was sad that he was  no longer part of the family that the visit wasn’t open to him. He soon began to wallow in the usual self pity.

This morning I was snooping around a box of his stuff that is sitting on my son’s bed. Hubby’s stuff. I found a piece of paper with some names and phone numbers written on it. Names and phone numbers of people that could only have been taken from my phone in 2012-13 when things were coming to a head and before I had proper password protection. For some reason this discovery brought me to my senses.

This morning I had my appraisal at work. I discussed my job, the things I have done well and could do better and my thoughts around my next (and probably final job). Sitting at my desk afterwards I realised that this is my opportunity to make the changes I need in both work and personally. Time for some real action. I felt and feel fired up.

So, this weekend I am going to pack his clothes up into bags. That is the first step.

Then next week I will give him a clear time table for the final changes to be made – his leaving for good, his agreement on the house sale etc.

Over the coming weeks Master and I will (I have no doubt) discuss my future career move and how I handle that. In my marriage I have to overcome my preference for being submissive and for not wanting to make decisions and to take control. With Master’s support I know that I can and that I must.

Elust #82

Elust 82 Header

Photo courtesy of Teachers Have Sex

Welcome to Elust #82 

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #83 Start with the rules, come back June 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

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~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

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Poetry

Writing About Writing

Aspirations

There is so much about my life that I love, that I am happy with.

I love the freedom I have to do as I please, which happens to match up well to the things that Master wants. This is because we seem to be able to combine travel, culture and sitting around doing very little in equal measure. I also love the fact that we are able to communicate in a way that wasn’t always the case for me with my ex.
But who is the person I aspire to be, what do I want to be able to do and how do I most want to live my life?
Much as I love my job, it would be true to say that I find it a challenge to keep up the pretence of arriving each day and continuing to be as excited about it as I always was. I would like to be able to take breaks from work from time to time, to be able to go off and spend time travelling with Master. Doing the things we love to do. 
The only way to achieve this goal is to get on and sell this house. So, because I really want this, I have begun my programme of getting ready for the sale. Master is definitely in the mood to keep me focused on getting these little projects done each week, as I am focused on getting him to de-clutter his bachelor pad for the arrival of me, his slave. 
You see, we are both clear that we aspire to live together. We know that we have work to do to get to a place where we have the space for us both. He has promised me a room to put the things that are personal but which I don’t wish to put into storage. We have promised each other the space also to learn to live together and to be the people we want to be.
I want to be free to do as I choose. I need to free myself from the final confines of marriage to divorce and to separate our assets. My ex and I struggle to communicate and I recognise that in this relationship I need to dominate. Failure to do so means that nothing is ever achieved. So my particular aspiration right now is to get on and make that permanent separation happen. 
I aspire to be the slave Master wants and probably needs. Once my house is sold I will have less need to work because I will have financial security. I will be able to work either fewer hours or work periodically and then I can be available to Master, to serve him as he wishes. We will be able to travel and do the things we both want. We will be able to export new places and experience new things.
We are people in our middle age. We know that we have achieved a great deal to date. We both have children and in my case a parent to think of, but we also know that we are at a time in our life where considering ourselves and each other is just, if not more important. I need to think of myself, but also to think of him. He does likewise. 
We aspire now to have a good time. We aspire to be free to demonstrate the dynamic we have chosen for ourselves and for each other.
I aspire most of all to be his slave and to be free to demonstrate that I am his slave all of the time. I aspire to be free to be able to modify my body as we both desire, and to show that body to him as we wish. 
But we do recognise that we live in the real world and that doing as we wish cannot always be achieved. So perhaps we just aspire to be left alone to be ourselves most of the time.

A breather

We are in France, staying at my apartment in the south west of the country. If there is anywhere in the world that I can relax and throw off the concerns of daily life this is it. Whenever I come here, I am able to sleep better and for longer, I am able to forget about work and family concerns and can just be. I don’t need to stay for long, a few days is enough to allow me to soak up the atmosphere, drink some wine, eat some local food and then to head back into the real world. Luckily Master also loves this part of the world, having spent time in this area as a student and then subsequently on holiday over the years. The weather has been, to say the least changeable, and right now, while sunny it is really windy (I wouldn’t want to be on the beach or worse at sea). Shortly we are going to head out further east to try to escape this wind and to see a place neither have been to. 

On Wednesday when we arrived in France, we stayed in Carcassonne in this beautiful hotel. We had tickets for a concert and so had decided to spend the night. I ate my first pizza in months and really enjoyed it. Since I started to try to lose weight a year ago, I have been avoiding such things. But this was a real treat and I ate without guilt (I may regret it next week when I get home and on the scales, but I somehow doubt it).
The next morning we wandered around the town and explored the church and cathedral within the city centre, rather than the Cité, which is where most tourists go. Then we headed to my apartment and spent a pleasant afternoon on the balcony enjoying the sun and drinking some local wine. Yesterday we did some shopping. I have recently had a new bathroom fitted so wanted to buy some new accessories and towels. I enjoy shopping in France, seeing the different things on offer from what is available in the UK. Unlike at shopping at home, I have the time to browse, since there isn’t the pressure to get onto doing something else.  Tomorrow, something more kinky, but for today this lovely view from our hotel window in Carcassonne as I head off for my afternoon of sightseeing. 

Emerging from winter

It had been a very long time since I stepped out of the house without underwear. It has just been too cold to chance going out without bra and panties. When wearing a dress or skirt, I have encased my legs in tights and more than often boots. My body is now pale and anaemic, my legs white. Apart of course from the freckles which always adorn my arms in particular, even in winter.

All of this is not quite true, since I now quite frequently wear nothing underneath trousers or jeans, so long they are of a soft enough fabric that won’t cause chafing. For winter this is my way of trying to remember that Master prefers a slave without underwear. He does however understand the need to keep warm and so cover up. 
Yesterday then was the first day this year that I have been out with no underwear on at all. Today is the second. Thankfully some warm spring weather has arrived and we are blessed with sunshine. Yesterday we ventured out into the countryside to explore a country house and its grounds. We had a picnic and strolled around in the warm (though at times cloudy) fresh air. 
These two photos provide a small record of our day out. In this first photo Master told his girl to lift up her dress so that he could get something of a view. She did so and quickly dropped it, but too quickly for him to take that photo. So she lifted up again. My thoughts? I need to do some work on toning up that backside and those legs!
In this second we are sitting on the grass. Around us people stroll, and little children run around. But of course this view is caught by Master only. A small glimpse of the summer to come. Of days out and about, a trip to Sicily in just over a month and this week coming to France. 
More photo opportunities and hopefully this time I might get a stock of photos which I can use in the depths of winter. February photofest maybe?

Plus we were sad that this particular wood wasn’t full of bluebells!

Masturbation – kink of the week

May is Masturbation month and not surprisingly Molly has chosen this as the topic for Kink of the Week. For me, masturbation like a number of the more sexual aspects of my life is something that has changed over the past few years.

I spent many years masturbating in private, and doing it frequently. A few minutes at home alone after getting in from work, the time between hubby leaving for work and my son beginning to stir in the room next door. I used fingers and I used various vibrating toys. I poured over the clitical.com website for new techniques and had some fun. I learned how to find my own g-spot, and experimented with ice, to name two new things I found out there. But to be frank I found it frustrating. It was pleasurable, but that pleasure only lasted for a few seconds after the climax came. I sensed that I needed a more fulfilling sex life and that masturbation wasn’t meant to be something that happened instead. This relationship has taught me that my hunch was correct.

During my marriage I hated the idea of my husband masturbating while he was beside me, but knew that he did so, usually after I fell asleep but not always. I hated the idea of him knowing that I masturbated too. Looking back there were some fundamental problems with our willingness to be open sexually with each other. I assumed that this was normal behaviour but now know differently.

Master owns my orgasms. It was one of the first things of mine that he took control and ownership of (intact, perhaps it was the first). This means I must thank him when I cum, and I must tell him it is his. That doesn’t mean he must be present when it happens, therefore I am allowed to masturbate. However, these days, the need to do so is much reduced. There is no need for me to sneak around before anyone comes home or goes out. I can happily lie on my bed naked and use my fingers or a vibe. But I tend not to (though it can help if I am unable to sleep at night). Instead I prefer to masturbate in his presence. Or for him to do so to me.

Mutual Masturbation has become part of my life in a way that I never expected, as has watching while he masturbates himself perhaps looking at some porn. I find this arousing rather than disturbing as I might have done previously. I am happy for him to look at and explore my body, and am relaxed with him watching me wank. Indeed sometimes he demands it of me.

The orgasms achieved through masturbation are for me different, depending on the method and who is making them happen. If wanking myself, then I prefer using a clitoral vibrator and I like the rapid and intense build up it gives. If Master is bringing me to orgasm, then I love the feel of his fingers and the slower, less intensive build up. The worst thing though is when he begins his count down and then stops touching me. It isn’t that it stops the orgasm coming but more that I hate the loss of direct stimulation from his gentle touch.

Masturbation for me is something very different from how it used to be. Different in a good and fulfilling way.

TMI Tuesday – Weekdays

My first TMI Tuesday in ages, but after the effort of the blogging A-Z during April, a meme or two feels the way to go:

Weekdays

tmi_tuesday
1. Do you wish every day was like Sunday?
I guess in a way that would be rather nice, but we can’t always have what we wish for. Plus, I probably would never get anything done and neither would Master. It is great to lie in bed late, maybe have some sex and then chill out for the rest of the day. But we really couldn’t do that everyday!
2. Why don’t you like Mondays?
I struggle to get going on Monday. Getting up is often a struggle and then once up getting my body moving. I walk up the stairs to my 4th floor office every morning, and Monday is always the hardest.
3. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday love–which is best day for sex?
Any day is good for me. Most frequently we have sex on Saturday or Sunday or perhaps both. This week though we had sex on Monday, as it was a bank holiday and we were together. 
4. Do you look forward to hump day aka Wednesday?
Wednesday is past my hump day as I only work Monday to Thursday. I like Wednesday as I know that by the time I go home, I only have one more working day left. Having said that, I sometimes worry during Wednesday that I haven’t worked hard enough on Monday and Tuesday to achieve all I need to. By Wednesday evening though, I am past that!
5. Friday night just got paid…do you get paid on Fridays?
Only if 25th of the month is a Friday, as that’s when I get paid!
6. What were you doing 10:15 Saturday night?
We were at my local pub having a drink. Beer for Master and a glass of wine for me. We had eaten dinner at my place and then walked to the pub. 
Bonus: Today in Washington, DC metro area it’s another Rainy day and it is Monday. What’s your weather?
Monday (I am writing this on Monday night) has been mild and cloudy for most of the day. We went to the cinema and found it was raining when we came out at 6pm. 
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!