M is for………

Master/slave dynamic (M/s) and Mine

The more this girl reads about the concept of the Master / slave dynamic, the more she realises that everyone’s individual experience is different. People often describe themselves not as ‘a’ slave but as ‘His’ slave, in the same way that it is difficult to describe yourself as a wife if you don’t have a husband. Others still identify as slave, but are unowned. For this girl she didn’t actually identify as a slave until she already had a Master. He however says that he saw such qualities in her. Not all slaves identify as submissive (according to a number of people on Fetlife that this girl is acquainted with), but she herself knows that she is submissive and probably always was.  Master definitely is Dominant, and wishes to be in control of all aspects of his life, including the person he is having a relationship with. Because while some relationships are based on play and sex, or play and no sex, or servitude with or without sex, or love, they fundamentally are relationships.

For us, the key elements of our relationship which we believe put it in the spectrum of M/s are ownership – He is the owner, she is the possession, power – He has the power, she does not, obedience  – she is expected to be obedient and does try to be.

Moving from a situation where this girl had full control of her own life, and direct control and influence over that of other people to what she has now has taken quite a change of focus. While many decisions are still taken together, some are not. In many cases he asks her opinion while in others he not only doesn’t but also doesn’t expect it. The process to get where we are now has taken time, and this girl has a feeling that we aren’t any where near the end of that journey. Master generally decides where we go, how we get there, what time we leave, what we do when we are there. Requests can be made, but when he doesn’t wish to do whatever it is, then they don’t happen. This girl didn’t even know she would want to live life in this way, but she really does. Indeed the less control she has over her life the less she wants. The fewer decisions she has to make, then the fewer she desires to make. That isn’t to say that this girl can’t take control, she does where she needs to and will always be able to. But for now, this is the lifestyle she has chosen and it is what she wants. She is his to use, his to do with as he wishes, she is property.

Mine – a four lettered word which Master uses to remind this girl who she belongs to. It reinforces the power he feels he has over her. Power that arouses him and helps her into the submissive space she loves to inhabit. He uses the word – Mine – a lot.