Anal and for Acceptance
I am joining the A-Z blog challenge (I am a little late, but better late than never) and have decided that each post will focus on two themes, one kinky and one not. Having said that, the non kinky one may well be about me and the lifestyle i live and therefore could link back to kink in some way. This is the case today.
I tried hard to think of a topic, beginning with A which was kink related, but which wasn’t the word anal. I thought of arse or ass, but that kind of led me back to the start. So anal it is.
I hadn’t really given much thought to anal sex before I started on this journey, to be honest I didn’t realise that it was in any way common for men and women to do such a thing, I honestly thought it was something men did together only. Having said that, I wasn’t actually disturbed by the idea once I found out more. During the early days of my expiration into kink I read lots of books and articles and learned a little there. Then I got to know S and through the conversations it became clear this was something he enjoyed. I was willing to give it a go and when we met I did just that. I was however surprised that it was quite as pleasurable as it was.
Fast forward to this relationship and anal sex doesn’t happen for us all of the time, but when it does it is extremely memorable and special. I think perhaps the fact that it takes time, preparation on both sides, and that a great deal of trust is required on both sides to make it pleasurable for us both makes it so. Plus there is the feeling that the power he has over me is all the greater during those moments and also that it feels a bit naughty and degrading. Those kind of feelings turn me on even more. Afterwards, I often feel a little sore, and actually enjoy that feeling because it reminds me of the feelings I have enjoyed and that I have been used for his pleasure. I know anal sex isn’t for everyone, but for me it has helped open up a world that I never expected but has shown me the person know I am.
That leads me onto Acceptance.
If someone had told me say 5 years ago that I would ever identify myself as slave I would have laughed in their face. The fact that my life had always been about service to others never occured to me. At that time, I often felt taken for granted, used and unappreciated. Discovering over the last 4 years what submission is about and what my life could be about has been amazing. The key however is finding the right relationship. The fact that it turned out I needed one that gave me the ability to fulfil my sexual desires, enabled be to develop my submission and to find a way of serving that didn’t feel it was wrong has been something of a revelation.
Accepting that I am a slave, that I enjoy kinky sex, bondage and pain to name a few, has freed me from the place I was at that time and introduced me to new people and amazing experiences. It took time to get to this place and Master has been the person to help me arrive here.