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Discussing sex

This is the first time that I have written a post for food for thought Friday 

The question is: are you comfortable discussing sex with your partner? Do you have the confidence to ask for what you like/want?

So, here is the thing. Having spent a large part of my adult life unhappy or unwilling to discuss my sexual needs with a partner, I now find myself in a relationship that not only am I able to do just that, but also it is expected. 

Every sexual encounter involves my being expected to describe what is happening and what I need to happen. I also speak about my personal needs as His slave, sexually and as a human being. For me, nothing is secret any more. I am expected to speak about everything about my life – family, friends, work, ex, just everything. Against expectations, this is actually liberating. 

This isn’t a one way street though, actually this relationship is such that I want to express my sexual needs to the man who owns me, my Master.

So, how did I get to this place? How did I become this person, rather than someone who felt unable to speak about her sexual needs? 

The key is being in the right relationship with the right person. for too long, that wasn’t the case, I was with a man with whom I wasn’t compatible. But more than that it is about being prepared to listen, to try to help that other person discover their sexuality, their needs as an adult human being.  It is about time and space. Time to talk about everything and anything. Time to explore each other’s bodies. To touch and feel, to kiss and to find out that actually pain is also important.

But, giving some thought to the person | was when I met ex-hubby and indeed to him, it is also about taking on board the experiences of life, accepting what wasn’t right, rejoicing what worked previously and making the best of what life has to off right now.

We are people in our 50’s and if we can’t discuss sex now, perhaps we never will. Happily we can and we do. 

1 thought on “Discussing sex”

  1. Gosh completely agree – being in the right relationship and having someone to listen. For so long I thought there was something wrong with me!! When you meet the right person sex is not a problem.

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