Both were awake, but had no urge to get up yet, it was Sunday after all. She lay on her side behind Him and rested her hand on His leg. He moved it so it brushed his cock.
I have been looking back some posts from 2 years ago, early in our relationship and have been thinking about the person I was then in comparison to now.
Life at that time felt busy – a new relationship was developing, but it was one that bears little similarity to the one we now have. It was clear from the start that he was my Dom, and that I was his submissive girl though at that time it manifested itself in the bedroom or playroom rather than all of the time. Gradually though the need of both of us was for something more, something that was a constant, that didn’t disappear because we were apart.
Of course part of this is about the relationship itself developing through time, about us knowing each other, about us having shared experiences and developing a history. But I am pretty sure that there is more to this than familiarity. The M/s dynamic that when we look back, was always evident has enabled me to become the slave I am and that Master wanted all along (even if he didn’t know it either). Kayla Lords post yesterday about using their D/s relationship to manage stressful times resonated with me. Master and I certainly pick up on cues that tell us that one of us is feeling stressed or anxious and use our dynamic to make sure we talk things through, that we use kink to help us through and that we reaffirm our positions as Master and slave. I am mindful of who I am at all times, and know that he is the boss, it is he who makes the decisions. I also know that I have an overwhelming desire to please and serve him which helps me to focus during those difficult times.
The key difference that people notice about me now is that I appear to be a happier, more fulfilled person. They assume, quite rightly that Master is to a great extent responsible for this change. He is, but probably not in the way that they imagine. Yes, the fact I have someone to tell everything to helps as does his encouragement for me to put my and our lives before those of everyone else quite as much as was the case. But the real fulfilment comes from the safety of knowing that I am his slave, his possession. The collar that he placed around my neck last July is part of that, a tangible symbol of my slavery. It does however go much deeper than that, right to the core of who I am as a person.
This morning I have agreed that I must remind myself of my slavery in a much more overt way, and stop using the word I when he and I are together or speaking to each other. This is a rule that has been in place for a long time, but one which I tend to forget about and often only use when we are in bed or playing. Master suggested to me that I often forget who and what I am when life gets busy and he is right. Saying the words “this girl” at the beginning of a sentence really does help to remind me and also to make me think about what I am about to say or do. It will also help me to make sure I am asking rather than telling.
I often write in the third person on here, and that has become second nature (even though I haven’t done it on this post), and that is what needs to happen when I am speaking to Master. After 2 years together this slave is still evolving into the person he wants her to be.
The title of this post is intended to describe the way that two elements of this girl’s life have been brought back into line. The first is her blog and the second is the Master slave relationship that she enjoys.
Since the holiday in Spain over Christmas, I have slightly lost the momentum and focus for this place. Creative juices have not really been flowing, and posts have become superficial and short. Partly because there hasn’t felt like much going on that has been worthy of a deeper discussion and also because the blogging mojo which we all need to write has been absent. So, despite the fact that I have posted here regularly over the past few months, much of the content has been through participation in projects and memes. I have really enjoyed February photofest, though I have been less creative this year than last and have struggled with motivation. Luckily I had a few pictures that I hadn’t shared before plus a Master who took a few more. However I couldn’t quite find the energy and will power to quite see it to the end and last Sunday’s photo was my last. During the intervening days I have been thinking about my blog, its purpose and how I plan to use it in the future.
It feels like time to draw a line and to refocus on what this place is about – it is somewhere I can share my inner most thoughts and where I can discuss aspects of my life and the journey Master and his slave travel. That isn’t to say that I won’t participate in more projects and memes, it just means I have realised it is time to reclaim my blog for the purpose I intended it. Even when there is little going on in our lives there is always something happening in my head that requires reflection and analysis. I also know that Master likes me to write some of that here, since it will often be about things we don’t easily and readily discuss in real life. So, I make no apologies for abandoning my participation in February Photofest and am proud of the photos I did post. Now on with the blog.
Reclaiming His slave
Despite being a middle aged woman, she is always His slave. She wears His collar 24 hours a day and can always feel it around her neck and she always remembers its purpose, as a symbol of the relationship, His ownership of her and the power He has and exerts over her. Other than this symbol, there is often nothing for anyone to see that sets this relationship out as different from any other. But the people in this relationship know that there are fundamental differences, and that these need to be worked on to be maintained. Regular life means work, it means spending time with family and friends and it means doing things together. It means eating and sleeping and it means having sex. The sex always has overtones of M/s but often they are subtle.
Sometimes like with this blog, there is a need to review a relationship and to reassert its meaning to those within it. For us that reclamation happened last night and this morning. That is not to say that there has been anything wrong, but just that looking back now, it was something that needed to happen.
Sex which happens late at night, and which is heavily laden with lust is a little different from sex in the morning when rested, sober and is almost planned. Much of the time our sex falls into the latter type, this time we had both. However, it wasn’t just about the sex, but about the acknowledgement of positions as Master and slave. A declaration of what being Master’s slave means to both, and actions which demonstrate that. Last night this slave was used for Master’s pleasure, she clearly stated her understanding of the fact she is there to be taken and used and that she is His pleasure bitch. This slave also reaffirmed that she has no limits, save those that Master decides upon. The sex was hot, but there was more to the session than hot sex. Drink had been involved too, so this morning, in the sober light of day, events and their meanings were restated and then there was more hot sex.
One of the most important aspects of this Master / slave dynamic is the use of this girl’s orgasms as a way of controlling events. He can make her cum on demand and He can also prevent her from coming until He is ready. Another is the use of names – that she is the slut or cunt and that He is the Master and the Lord.
The key thing about the past 24 hours is that this girl can say that Master has reclaimed His girl and that they have both reaffirmed their clear commitment to the dynamic that they have and enjoy.
The other good thing is that there is lots more to write about in the reclaimed blog!
The strangest thing I think I have ever seen was a picture we discovered in the Casa de Pilatos in Seville over the Christmas holidays. This photo is taken from a copy rather than the original, but I doubt it detracts from the weirdness of this piece of art. Essentially this is purported to be a bearded woman who is pictured with her husband and child. Master and I found it difficult to quite believe the story. What was sad, was that the picture was tucked away in a dark room where most people perhaps don’t visit. Perhaps there is embarrassment about this, which is sad. It is definitely odd but it is also very interesting.