Over the last few weeks I have found it impossible to find the motivation to blog. I know that the urge to write ebbs and flows, I know that there are times when you can almost have too much to say and other times nothing. It isn’t as if there aren’t things to say about my life with Master, about family stuff, about the ex hubby.
Master and I are settled into something of a routine, a weekend at his place, one at mine. Sometimes a get together in between. There hasn’t been all that much kink lately, but to be honest I am not worried so long as we have the occasional playtime. There is plenty of sex and there is the general undercurrent of our M/s dynamic. It is there and we both know it. We go out and we have fun. We also stay in and just chill out. We cook, together and separately and we are both pretty content. Maybe being content doesn’t make for the need to write anything much.
Within the family we have just had the first anniversary of my dad’s death. It has been harder than I imagined to pass that anniversary without feeling extremely reflective and, yes, sad. It has probably been a good thing to look back and remember, to think about the events of those last weeks. To remember the closeness that developed between us as a family, also the closeness that came about between Master and I as he supported me though. Sometimes I am so settled in my life as it is now, it is difficult to acknowledge that a year ago we had only really just started to get to know each other. We were just weeks into the knowledge that we were in a relationship with just each other and not with me as the third as had been the case before. Everyone in my family knows that Master and I are a couple now, we don’t need to hide but we do tend to live our own lives. We don’t tend to mix family and our relationship too much and that suits us fine.
Lastly there is the whole marriage thing. I need to get on with the splitting the assets and divorce thing. But it has taken hubby this long to get to a reasonably stable place emotionally, plus I have needed this time to live a normal life without the stress of the family and relationship pressures of last year. But 2016 will be about getting that final separation and space between us. It will be about finding that last bit of myself and Master and I.
I haven’t left the blogging world. I will write again when I have something to say, I am just not sure if that will be in a day, a week or a month. I will get fired up about something soon, but at the moment, I am not sure what.