Masturbation (and sex) on Monday

Masturbation Monday is a year old today. Congratulations to Kayla Lords for coming up with the idea. In celebration here is this girl’s contribution.

It’s a bank holiday here in the UK. Wonderful, time to relax and enjoy the end of summer, lovely sunny days soon to end. For us, here in the UK it seems that summer is already ended and this morning when Master and girl woke it was dull, cool and rainy out. But every rain cloud has a silver lining, as a holiday means no work for this girl and so the chance to drift back to sleep. At some point, reasonably early in the morning, Master began to stroke his girl between her legs. “You like this don’t you slut?” He asked. Of course she likes it, who wouldn’t. The girl lay back and enjoyed the feelings wash over her, allowed herself to relax into His touch and arousal to sweep around her body. She knew her clitoris was enlarging as it became engorged and that she was becoming wet to His touch. The idea of cumming didn’t occur to her and He didn’t suggest she could or should. Instead they both drifted back to sleep. The girl was pretty sure that without Master’s touch that  might not have happened.

The next time we woke, the phone was ringing. It was around 10.30am and it was this girl’s mum. Luckily the girl came to her senses pretty quickly and any way she mostly only had to listen to the updates of mum’s weekend – the films she has watched, the food she has eaten, that kind of exiting stuff. Finishing the call though, she looked across to Master who was busy looking at porn on His phone, while quietly masturbating Himself. A few minutes later and this girl looked at Master – He was now making the bed shake – He informed her that he was getting Himself hard enough to fuck her arse. 
Still horny from the earlier masturbation, this girl shivered with anticipation. “Roll over girl” He commanded and soon after His now very hard cock was taking possession of what it rightfully His. This girl felt herself getting lightheaded as He pounded inside her. She found herself unable to stop herself pressing back towards Him rhythmically as He took a break. He squeezed her nipple, playing with the piercing as He loves to do. Those piercings which were done for Him. The nipples that belong to Him. Master and this girl felt the power in His touches which brought this girl to orgasm. 
A little later, this girl was given her prize. One that Master allowed her to swallow. 
She lay back in His arms, snuggling to him for warmth on this cool end of August morning. He asked her how she was feeling. “light headed and slave like” was her response.
“I like it when my slave is light headed because of me” For Him it is all about the power and the control. For this girl it is too.

Controlled

His control over this girl is often subtle rather than overt. This girl reads the blogs and fetlife posts of other submissives and slaves and can see that often their lives involve more in the way of overt discipline and rules. The power and control Master exerts over this girl feels a little different.

Make no mistake though, He really does have total control. What is more, looking back this girl can see that just how much she has changed since she came into Master’s control. She can see how she has become the calmer person He wanted her to be, that she is no longer someone who seeks control in any part of her life in the way that she did. Work becomes a new experience when you are committed while you are there but generally you leave the office and have no desire to worry about things till the next day. Letting go to perceived responsibilities around family can be more difficult, but generally this girl can say that she is better at that part of her life these days.

This girl has however been wondering about some of the decisions she makes away from her relationship with Master and whether she is still a little too inclined to make decisions without discussion. Also whether she should be asking for permission to make some of those decisions. It is easier to know what is right and wrong when we are together, generally there are no decisions to be made then. But where Master is not involved, then what? No doubt, when Master reads this, we will have that conversation.

When we are together though, there is no doubt. He totally gets off on the power He has over this girl. But His style is pretty low key. This girl does as she knows He wants mostly without being told. Expressing her own opinion is often described as brattiness, which of course it is. Mostly though the brattiness is not serious, since there is an understanding of what the rules of engagement are. He starts conversations with words like “do you want to”, but of course they are not intended to be a question, they are a statement. The fact that this girl understands this and feels no need to challenge any part of it is an important difference from what went before.

Sometimes though instructions do not come as a question. This morning He told this girl to put in her butt plug before we had sex. Made it clear that she was to face the mirrored wardrobes when she was on top. Told her how her submission gives Him the power and control He needs.

Next week this girl if off to France with her mum who needs to have some time away from home as we approach the first anniversary of dad’s death. Time without the overt control that Master gives when we are together and a time when His control from afar will  be needed. But control all the same and this girl will know it is there.

30 days of kink days 12-15

Unlike day 11, 12-15 lend themselves to a multiple post, so here goes.

Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had.

We love to people watch (that goes for kinky and non kinky) and there’s lots to enjoy and laugh about between yourselves when you watch people. Sometimes it’s about people who take themselves way way too seriously and  other times it will be about something someone has said or something they did. Munches can be a good place for that kind or interest. Maybe it isn’t kind, but we are older than many people and don’t tend to take ourselves quite as seriously as some others do.

Day 13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

Maybe this girl has always known she was different to other people when it comes to sex, and things that turn her on. It was always easier to ignore those feelings than face them though. In the end though, facing the reality of who you are is easier than turning your back on it.

This girl is turned on by the idea of submitting to another. What is more that submission provides a release from thoughts that would otherwise invade her mind.

This girl finds being restrained (in more ways than being bound by the wrists for example) something that is erotic but also calming.

Pain and pleasure are very closely linked

A person doesn’t need to be constrained by the ideas (she) has about what is ‘normal’. Indeed, by giving those decisions to another a person can find that those original thoughts have moved somewhat.

Just when you think you might have travelled as far as you can, BDSM sends you further on that journey of self discovery.

Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink?

In real life we continue to live in the real world. We still have our families, jobs and whatever shit goes with all of that. This means we can’t spend our lives naked and chained at someone’s feet. Plus our Doms aren’t millionaires who spend their lives juggling their subs with their multinational industries. Oh yes and this girl is way to heavy for Master to carry into his private jet at the dead of night so she wakes up across the atlantic. But this girl is working on her weight, and He is working on his wealth so who knows!

Day 15: Post A BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.

We haven’t played at a club but that will change soon.

30 Days of Kink – Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?

As a (hopefully) sane adult this girl is able to decide for herself the kind of life she wishes to live. What is more, she has spent a lot of time considering what this lifestyle means both in an individual sense and also in the wider context. What is more, this girl is educated – a Degree in nursing and a Masters in Strategic Leadership (yep, the latter is quite pretentious sounding, but was a very interesting course). The important thing about those two qualifications is that this involves a serious amount of reading around the topic(s) is required, and while doing that reading a person is also required to think about the way in which society functions and the extent to which people tend to conform to social norms. 

Essentially, the norm seems to be sex between a man and a woman  which takes place within the confines of the bedroom and can be enjoyed by both parties so long as it is not really discussed (apart maybe from letting the odd survey know that it is carried out at least a couple of times a week). Any kind of kink seems to be considered weird. In these days of sexual exploitation, a controlling media and the idea that there is a Paedophile around every corner, anything outside of that norm is considered weird. Of course the whole FSOG thing has opened up the idea of a bit of bondage and spanking here and there, but it is difficult to gauge just how much the average person believes it really happens outside of a book or film. 

In reality kink is about what two consenting adults decide is right for them (within the realms of what is legal). The biggest thing for this girl is the knowledge that while sexual arousal may take place as part of the kink activity, it doesn’t necessarily need to be about sexual intercourse. In fact, there are times when it can’t be (at events for example). In our relationship, when we are alone together, in a private place then sex is likely to follow play, but it doesn’t have to and for many people it isn’t part of the dynamic. 

So this girl and Master are outside of what is considered ‘normal’, but we have agreed to the things we do. We are adult, apparently sane and we keep most of what we do reasonably private. We don’t tend to cause difficulties to those around us who are going about their normal lives, not that many people seem to have a clue what goes on under their very noses. But then that is part of the fun of all of this!


Sluttiness in a public place – ethically wrong? But not noticed by anyone.




The morning after – hangover cure

This girl felt a little lot hungover when she woke pretty early, the morning after the quiet night in before. She got up to pee and also took something for the headache and lay down wondering if she might be sick. Luckily as she lay remembering the harness and events, the feelings began to subside and she began to doze happily. Sleep was what she needed and then once she awoke again she would feel fine. She had not bargained on Master waking at that moment and informing her that he felt fine and in fact, was feeling horny.  

Master’s hands moved over his slave’s body, pausing over her nipples, rubbing and squeezing them. This girl knew that while she might prefer to sleep, that wasn’t really an option, therefore she opened her legs so that He could access his property more easily. She was already wet – no surprise of course, this girl’s body often gives her away. Pausing to taste her pussy, moments later He thrusted inside her. For all this slave told herself that this wasn’t what she really wanted at this moment, her body continued to give her away and she found her hips arching in response. Master reminded her of the numerous orgasms that she had given Him the night before, and informed her that she had many more to give.
He was right of course and she found that they were released easily. This girl began to feel a little spaced out as her submission took over and she gave Master what He wanted. On top now, she ground into Him, rubbing herself on his pelvis as she moved on top of Him. He in turn squeezed her now hard nipples, informing her that they were harder than He had ever seen them. Eventually she lady beside Him and slave and Master slept for a while. This girl felt relaxed and happy in her slave space and suddenly not a bit hung over. Master in turn seemed pretty satisfied.
An hour or so later, both were awake again and Master was ready to deliver His prize to her. She wondered where he would deliver it. He took her from behind and once again she felt the animal desires of arousal engulf her again as she orgasmed for Him again. Then she took Him in her mouth, before He decided to release His load onto her slutty body, onto the mound of pubic hair she is required to keep for Him.
As they lay together again, this girl remembered some more about the previous night; the golden shower she had taken, and the instruction that there is no need for her to wear clothes on her lower half when at home with Master. Today she wore a dress, but knows that another day, just a top will suffice. Something that shows off her slutty body and which is accessible to Him. Those thoughts turn this girl on and carrying out His requirements will do that too.

The harness

Master loves to frame this girl’s tits in a harness and have her sit naked except for the leather, and of course the collar. He loves to have access to his girl’s body and to touch and to play with her while He watches a film.

For her part, this girl finds wearing this kind of harness arousing. The feel of the collar, which restricts her neck movements, and holds her head up in the correct posture. The framing of her tits as they sit proudly on display for His enjoyment.

Master believes that his slave should always be ready for use and spending time wearing the harness makes her ready and what is more, He wasted no time in making use of her. He took numerous orgasms from her slutty body, sending her deep into the slave space they both love her to inhabit. A place where His power and dominance shine through for them both to see and to feel.

For us, M/s is all about those things. It is about His control and her deep submission to that control. The harness helps this girl to find her inner slut, the exhibitionist and what is more it makes Him horny.

You may notice from this photo that Master managed to get the harness inside out this time, it can be a bit complicated after a glass of wine or three.

slave thoughts

It has been more than a week since this girl last wrote on her blog. It is funny how the urge to write comes in fits and starts; it kind of ebbs and flows. Or more likely stops and starts.

To be honest, there is an element of writers block going on here right now, so this slave is going to try to just go with the flow and to see what emerges.
The feel of the collar is ever present around this slave’s neck. Not just the feeling of the cool titanium, of the heaviness of it as she wakes in the morning, or sits at her desk in the day, but also the reality when she catches sight of herself in the mirror. The commitment though is more than a piece of jewellery (or two, since there is also the cuff). It is also about agreeing to be the slave that He expects, wants and needs. What is more, it is an admission on this slaves side that she is the person He needs. She really has given Him control of herself – her body, her mind, her limits. All of this takes time to come to terms with, it takes time to adjust to how she needs to be.
Slavehood is definitely something that has been a gradual process and it still evolves. This girl speaks to Him of her need to feel His control, just as she knows He needs to be in control. But at the same time, she realises she must comply with the agreements that were made a year ago, before more rules are set in place. In the main, these are foremost in her mind as she goes through each day, but of course, this slave is a human being and so forgets her place and role at times. That is where the metal helps – the collar, the cuff and also the plug. Last weekend Master and slave agreed that a next step would be some daytime plug wear perhaps on the journey to or from work. This girl is ready for that.
Next will be Master’s preferences over this girl’s hair style. He prefers His slave to have her head shaved, but this slave is not ready yet for that step. Master is not pushing hard, but gently towards His goal. Last time she had her hair short, with the sides up to the ears and next time will be the next stage. This girl is not sure what she fears about going to where Master wants her to be. However she does know that eventually she will comply, she will embrace His wishes without Him forcing the issue.
This slave has no idea why she needs to be the slave she is for her Master, or why she needs to move further towards the girl she knows He wants her to be. She just knows that she does.

TMI Tuesday – Let’s get personal

Haven’t done a TMI in a while, but this one looks fun (or maybe just buys into how I am feeling today).
1. Toilet paper. How do you hang your toilet paper? The end coming over the top or with the end coming from around the back and at the bottom?
Over the top. To be honest, I didn’t use to care, but 30 years of living with someone who did it that way has rubbed off. While he wasn’t right about much, he was about the toilet paper. 
2. Towels. Do you use a new one each time you bathe or reuse?
You are joking? Who needs that much washing. Plus, it is not as if I roll in mud every day.
3. Bathing. Do you use a washcloth to clean your body or use the soap directly all over your body with no washcloth?
My hands are good for washing with. If in a hotel and washcloths (or flannels as we call them in the UK) are available then, yes I will use them. Otherwise they are something that needs to be cleaned far more than I would want to be bothered with. Therefore perfect for hotel use. 
4. Bra. Do you remove your bra by taking your arms out of the straps first, then inching it around your body until you can reach the clasp and undo it or do you contort your arms, and reach around and unclasp.
Just take it off. Those prim and proper days are behind me!
5. Dishwasher. Rinse/pre-wash all dishes before loading or just load.
Life is too short for a pre-wash. My motto is load it up and turn it on. Master is amused though that the eco wash on my dishwasher lasts 3 hours. In reality the half hour wash is just as good. LOL
6. Breakfast cereal. Cereal in bowl first, then pour on milk or put milk in bowl then add cereal?
People put the milk in first?
7. Toothpaste. Squeeze from bottom working way up tube as it empties or squeeze from middle or wherever you want?
I tend to start by squeezing from the bottom, but somewhere along the line I squeeze in the middle. Having said that, I do my best to get it all out of the tube. 
8. Condoms. Do you put it on your lover or does he put it on himself?
We don’t use them, but if we did, then I love to be the one…..
9. Condom disposal. In the garbage bin or flush down toilet?
As above, we don’t use them. Flushing is bad for the environment right? 
Bonus: Write your own bonus question and tell us an intimate detail about you or your habits.
I always run through the same ritual when I shower, particularly when I wash my hair. Shampoo, rinse, apply conditioner and then wash in the same order every day then rinse off the conditioner. If I decide to shave in the shower too, the water is highly likely to run cold!

Thinking

This post is going to ramble, but sometimes a person probably needs to do that. It is also going to feature ‘i’ since it is easier to form thoughts that way, even though i really am trying to do the whole third person thing much much more.

Since the collaring i am feeling more slave like, more like i need to please and serve Him. When you wear a ring of metal around your neck (as well as one around your wrist) there is no likelihood you are going to forget what you have agreed to be and to do. I didn’t take agreeing to be Master’s slave lightly, it feels right but it is a responsibility. Usually in the right way, but I know also that I am making mistakes and feel I need more help and guidance. I have re-read our contract and in most areas I am pretty much compliant.

Am I the slave He wants? Am I pleasing enough? Am I mindful about my actions at work? Would He be proud of the way I conduct myself at meetings? All of these things matter much more than they did. Plus what about the areas I have been seriously remiss? It is easy to wear a butt plug more frequently, but to remember to ask if I am to remove my clothes whenever I arrive at His house? To always speak in the third person; those things take some concentration on my part. Plus how much does He require me to comply?

It is proving easier to get into my slave space when we are together, but to be honest I need to know how to behave when we are apart much more than I did. I need more help and guidance than I did. Perhaps this feeling is temporary but it is definitely real.

Being Master’s slave is a responsibility and I don’t want to let Him down.

Satisfied

Apparently about 50% of adults in the UK are unsatisfied with their sex lives, apparently also many people don’t have regular sex. The survey by Relate, puts this down people feeling that they need to perform well, that they need to have penetrative sex and that they need it to be spontaneous. Reading the comments after the article, this girl would say that those who are unhappy about their sex may well have more fundamental problems with their relationships. This girl has experience of being in the wrong relationship, one where she didn’t really find her husband attractive any more and one where sex of any kind was rare. Sex is not the only important thing in a relationship and it is fully possible to enjoy life without it. But when sex is good, then it really is integral to your wellbeing as a couple.

This girl probably has more sex now, at the age of 53 than ever before (yes this girl had a birthday this week). What is more, she is enjoying that sex in a way that she could previously only fantasise about. This girl has been considering some of the reasons for this.

First there is the power dynamic and the knowledge that Master is in control, that He calls the shots. That is not to say that this girl can’t and doesn’t initiate things. But it is satisfying to know that no one is going to suggest that you need to take more control of things and that if no sex occurs tonight it must be all your fault.

Second, that He not only owns this girl’s body, her holes and her orgasms but that he takes such pleasure in doing so. He loves to touch, stroke, to kiss. He makes her feel wanted and loved, makes her feel good about her own body since He seems to love it so much. He spends a lot of time touching that property, and making His slave aroused, taking pleasure and ultimately taking those orgasms. Sometimes that leads to penetrative sex, but often it doesn’t. Not because we don’t want to but more like because we don’t need to.

Thirdly there are other ways that we achieve sexual satisfaction. Through play, through the power exchange itself, through just talking about the things we have done and things we will do in the future, including fantasies we both have and know we will fulfil when the time is right. For Master sexual satisfaction comes through the knowledge that He calls the shots, and that in itself leads to the kind of sex we have had this morning. For this girl, satisfaction comes through the orgasms she has given, through the pain she currently feels in her used arse and through the saltiness she can still taste in her mouth from His gift to her.

Yes, it is safe to say that this girl is one very satisfied person.