I came across this on tumblr earlier and reposted it there. Since then, these words have had me thinking. They have given me cause to consider the person I am now and the one I have previously been. It would be safe to say that in the last few years of my marriage, I was pretty much Mrs angry. I am sure all of these words were used by me, in answer to something my husband said at some time or other. Often they were uttered under my breath. But there were occasions when I spoke them more loudly and with some meaning. Our ability to communicate was sadly lacking, though I think underneath we both knew what was meant. None of this was one sided, but I have to admit I am not necessarily proud.
Of course, that relationship was long standing. We had been through many ups and downs together, but the big problem at the end was a lack of respect for him. That isn’t to say there weren’t other problems (there were and they are too numerous to mention), but I think that was at the root.
My current relationship with Master is new (yes a year is new), but we came to it later in our lives. Plus the dynamic is different and respect for each other is both central and key to how we treat each other. The way he looks at me, touches me and speaks to me is different to anything I have experienced before. That has made me feel different as a person.
I often choose a blog title before I begin writing, though sometimes I change it after I finish. This one though – karma – sums things up, and I won’t need to change it.
The Wikipedia definition of Karma is:
“action, work or deed; it refers to the principle of causality, where intent and actions of an individual influence the future of an individual. Good intent and good deed contribute to good karma and future happiness”
Perhaps a fly on the wall who heard Master calling me his slut or his bitch might think that there is no good karma going on with us. Equally when I beg him for that orgasm. Or when I am tied to the bed while I am flogged, perhaps that fly might think there was no respect in this relationship. But while this is a relationship built on a preference for kinky sex, on a desire to give and receive pain, and one where Dominance and submission is paramount, friendship and love are paramount.
He takes care of me in a way that no human probably ever has before and I seek to do the same. If I don’t like what I think he is saying then I question it. If I don’t want to do something I may say no. Of course, I might in the process be called bratty. I might not actually get any response. But that isn’t because he doesn’t respect me. Instead it is because I have chosen to be his slave and I have agreed to trust him to make the right choices and keep me safe. And I do.