Being His girl

If anyone had told me 9 months ago that I would again be anyone’s girl I would have laughed in their faces. Me, a 50 something year old woman, someone’s girl?

But now, not only do I like being His girl, but I love the fact that is what He calls me all of the time. What is more, I love to be in a place where where we are anonymous and where I can call Him Master, even in a public place.

The power and control He has over me, His girl is often subtle. So much so, that no one else can tell it is there. But right now, it is ever present, even as now from a thousand miles away.

Last night during a text chat on messenger, He told me how pleased He was at the way I have coped with this weekend away with my mum. When He told me I was a good girl, I swelled with pride. I often feel I am unworthy of such praise, but am learning that when He says such a thing He means it. We moved on to talking about a planned night out I have with a friend later in the week. I expressed that I thought  I should cancel as I will probably be tired. He told me that he felt I should go, that I need such an outlet. He feels I need to see people and do things outside of my relationship with Him. Of course He is right and while He wasn’t saying I must go, the implication was just that.

That conversation had me thinking about what I have given up to Him – willingly I might add. I still make decisions, still go about my life in the same way. But at last I have someone who I am happy to have the last word. That is a big thing for me – I have a reputation for always wanting to have that final word. For wanting to be in charge, wanting to make the decisions in life. But not only do they not know the real me, but actually I am only just discovering who that me is.

This weekend it will be 9 months since our first meeting. It has been an eventful time, one of personal discovery for us both.

But while looking back is something we all like to do, to relieve the good times and avoid a repeat of the bad, looking forward is even better.

So, I look forward to being His girl into the future. That thought makes me feel very good indeed.