I think that in the future, when I look back on the summer that has just past, I will see that it was an important and special time. Both in terms of the time spent with my parents, knowing that the autumn would bring the changes it has and also my relationship with Master.
Master and I have had some incredible fun over the summer. This started shortly after He returned from His trip to the US in June with a day out at a country estate where He took this, and a number of other photos.
Being a weekday, before the school holiday’s started, it wasn’t too busy and so there were opportunities to be a little naughty. To let Him see a bit more of His property than is usual in a public place.
Over the summer too, we have travelled to Lisbon, France and Amsterdam together. We have been to the cinema, to the theatre, to galleries and have eaten many meals together. Indeed there has barely been a weekend, and some weekdays since June that we have been apart. Over the summer too, the sexual and kinky side of our relationship developed. Then of course there has been the realisation that we are Master and slave.
I make no excuses for this period of reflection. The events of the past few weeks have made me want to review my life and my relationships. The loss of a parent feels an important time, but also the changing of the seasons has a little of that effect too.
Master and I were speaking last night about the post I wrote this week about sharing which can be found here. When I look back on this summer, I know that my attempt to do just that, caused me more upset, stress and heartache than was good for me. I made the assumption when He returned from His trip, that I needed to develop a kind of sister slave relationship and set about doing so. I approached this in my usual, open and honest way and assumed that the other party would do the same. My main error was to allow that person access to my blog, and to expect her to be able to read it and to accept what I had written without question. Instead I found my every word challenged and my assumptions about my own relationship called into question.
My blog has always been a place where I can write freely and openly about myself and my life. Suddenly this wasn’t possible. Instead my words became superficial and indeed whole events passed by without mention.
This summer has been special. My first with Master and my last with my dad. I have memories, photographs and I want to have words. This new blog, will I hope give back the words I seemed to have lost.
Being able to express yourself freely is so important in blogging, within the constraints of anonymity. I hope you find your words again.
I took a similar photograph to yours this summer – my kids standing in that very same spot 🙂 They did a lot of walking that day!
hugs
DF
Maybe you needed to happen to allow you to become and embrace more of who you are. I think this last summer have you grown in ways you never thought possible. All events, good, sad, bad, etc., needed to occur to help both you and your Master.
Now is time to write freely, express yourself and grow even more.
You will get those word, I promise!
I'm referring to the "sister slave" relationship not the loss of your father. That was not a need. Hugs.
Although its been a difficult time for you, most especially with the passing of your dad, and the reasons for having to move your blog, you have come such a long way in respect of being comfortable with who you are…and that really is something to be embraced.
x
I so agree and know that I will find the words. We also walked miles that day; a lovely place 🙂
I agree Hs, it has helped me find out so much more about myself – painful as that has sometimes been. Master and I agree we are on Some journey! Thanks 🙂
You are so right tori, the most important thing is that I now know who I am and embrace it. Of course it helps finding the right Dominant! xx
Beautifully written. It is so important to have some time to reflect on such huge life changes. Thank you for sharing
Hugs,
Fiona
Thank you Fiona xxx