That is the only thing that can describe this girl. A day can start off really well, nothing in particular might upset her, but then without warning and without delay, the bottom appears to fall out of it.
Yesterday was one of those days. This girl had a reasonable day at work. Achieved some useful outcomes (as they love to call things you do in this girls line of work), and even indulged in some retail therapy at lunchtime.
Suddenly though at 3pm or so, this girl began to feel her mood slipping. It was as if one of the death eaters from a Harry Potter book had suddenly sat beside her. This girl’s energy slumped, and if anyone had said anything at all annoying or upsetting tears would have emerged.
By the time this girl got home this girl felt like she was in the worst depression ever. This is hard for this girl to describe, since these feelings are pretty alien. This girl is not someone who, thankfully, has been affected by this kind of thing in the past. Even after having a baby, the blues was all she had. Ok, so some of the PMT this girl has suffered has caused family to keep a wide birth, but that was never as sudden and dramatic. And anyway there was no danger of an angry outburst, just tears.
Well actually the outburst came in the form of mad and crazy messages sent to Master, who was in the middle of dealing with another problem in His life. In the course of 20 mins, this girl had told Master that she wanted to end their relationship and that she didn’t 4 or 5 times. That was just in the messages that actually got sent.
Luckily He took all of this in His stride and this girl and Master were able to talk things through and finally laugh about things later.
This girl still hasn’t been to see the doctor about HRT and knows she needs to do that. Plus they discussed whether this girl needs a snack at 3pm as it is usually mid afternoon when these things occur. They also discussed the loss of control and panic which engulfs this girl from time to time and how that might be linked to her submission. That when this girl reaches out and Master is not around, what happens and how this girl might take steps to prevent feeling as she did yesterday.
One thing is for sure, this girl hates those feelings and hates to be moody. What is more, she hates the thought of sending messages to Master, that he could take seriously. This girl feels she needs to get a grip!