Wedding ring and more questions

Just before Christmas i realised i weighed more than i had ever weighed in my life before. Essentially i felt very miserable around that time, and when i am miserable i eat. I also shopped as if a family of 3 were staying at home for the whole holidays and were expecting guests every night. In the main, what food was eaten was eaten by me. My son helped, but he doesn’t have a sweet tooth (hell neither really do i!) and i hate waste.

At New Year i decided i needed to do something and during January both dieted and did the whole dry January thing (even if i didn’t last all month).
Over the months, when people have asked me why i still wear my wedding ring, i have said it is because it won’t come off. The practicalities of this were definitely true in December and January, though to be honest it is only recently it has bothered me.
i have now lost 12lb in weight, though i have a bit to go until i will be happy with my weight. But today, while in a place where the air conditioning was a little on the cool side, while fiddling with my wedding ring, it actually came off. 
i won’t be putting it back on. 
Apart from a few weeks during the latter stages of pregnancy, i have worn a wedding ring on my left hand for near on 30 years. It is going to be weird to wear nothing. For now, i have a ring that was left to me by my grandmother which i have decided to wear on that finger.
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Questions from Fiona:
What is a fantasy that you have that includes Graeme that you have not yet tried?
i would like to be made to submit for a prolonged period of time. Since we don’t live together and  have no formal kind of arrangement, my submission kind of comes and goes. i would like to agree to behave in a particular kind of way for a specific length of time and actually manage to do it (or else be punished). This is really tame, or is it? Julie is Mrs Pretty Scary Lady and she likes to be in charge. Giving up power and control for a day, or two would be a massive thing. Plus it would show if she is able to be joolz for any length of time.
What is your favourite implement?
Damn it i have very little experience with many implements and the ones recently experienced blurred into one. i am not keen on the belt but like the crop or flogger (edited after thinking about this). The flogger because it can be such a sensual gentle thing and then again it can be something else entirely. This is an area where my experience definitely needs widening!
Do you think you will be Graeme long term or are you thinking this just a while it lasts relationship?
It has only been a month. Plus He is promised to another. i intend to enjoy the things we do together for as long as we both wish to do them. In short, i don’t know and at the moment am not worried. 
What is your favourite desert?
I love cherries. Given a menu i will, if it available choose something with cherries. I can’t actually eat them fresh as they make my throat kind of itch, like i am about to have an allergic reaction. But the kind of cherry in kirsch or something that you get in a gateaux or cheesecake or just in cream and ice-cream. Well yes give that to me! If it also includes chocolate then all the better!

A big step

Last weekend, I took a big step and did something i didn’t think i would be able to. i took a man who is not my husband into my marital bed. What is more,  i managed to not only have sex there but to sleep too.

For me, just having Graeme in the house, given when no one else was home, felt like something very big indeed.

As i move towards the end of my marriage i am trying to be clear to us both that i mean as i say. Sleeping with another man in my own room feels to me like some kind of defining moment on that journey.

Hubby and i still share when he is home (only one night this week), but there is no physical contact. i know (enough people have advised me) that i need to sort out the spare room and move his things in there. He has even offered to go. It is probably one of the next things that i will make happen.

Sleeping with Graeme is a lovely experience. He likes to touch during the night, to cuddle, spoon together. So far we have woken early, partly due to the excitement we both feel about this new relationship. But we have tend to lay in bed together, kissing, stroking and of course joined in some way later than i normally would. As someone who is generally lacking sleep and rest this is probably one of the best things for my physical and emotional well being. It is not getting my housework done to my satisfaction, but then you have to prioritise.

This Friday there will be another opportunity and i take it with relish. A big step, but a necessary one.