Questions

I have tori to thank for my first questions, so here goes:

Do you fear how far you might go in your submission i.e. things perhaps you were sure you would never do, or do you just feel excitement

As far as I can see things right now, I am pretty much open to most ideas. I thought I didn’t like too much pain, but it turns out that actually I do. So far, Graeme tells me He has held back on the pain front and I probably can’t argue with that as I definitely haven’t reached any kind of limit with Him on that. 
But actually I don’t think pain and humiliation are my greatest challenge. For me it is about how i change my behaviours when i am with Him. Over the past couple of days we have discussed this quite a bit. For the most part when we are out together i am happy to just let him take the lead, but every now and then the me that wants to take over just, well, takes over. 
i am clear that my submission now is about expanding the boundaries around giving up control in new ways. Perhaps not jumping in to organise things in a restaurant? Perhaps stepping back when i normally would wade in? 
For me this is something new and equally something that i have spoken of. I have taken so much control during my marriage, letting go in real life situations is quite tricky. That is my challenge. 
What 3 things are high on your kink list?

This is harder, since i have done quite a lot!!
First i would like to try the girl thing again. Last time, well although it was fun i didn’t really think it was for me. But if that was what was wanted of me, to please my Dom then yes, i would be happy to go again.
Second really is piercings – not essentially kink but the reason for them and the things that could be done because of them are kinky. Graeme and i have been discussing nipple and clit hood piercings for me. i am pretty sure they will happen this year. and then the kinky sky might well be my oyster
So i am now seeing Gadget Man, and in the past month i have been exposed to experiences that i could never have imagined. I think my fantasy would be a new toy He hasn’t tried before and for which i am His first guinea pig.

These are my first March Questions – does anyone have any more?

orgasm control

i have willingly given up control of my orgasms.

Able to choose for myself, given free rein and feeling a little horny. If i was in the right place at the right time, i would usually go for it. Hell it is an extremely pleasant experience and what girl would turn it down? Especially if there were someone there to both offer and give.

Over the past weeks, since i gave up that control I have been offered orgasms which i have not taken up.

i am quite able to say no because under a more controlled existence orgasm is actually more pleasant. In the past, with no one to know or care i have used a vibe to give myself orgasm after orgasm without truly being fulfilled. Indeed self control is better – when seeing S, i often went a week or 2 after we had been together. The end result being far preferable and that without much if anything of control from him.

Today my orgasms are not only controlled but belong to another. Indeed, i am happy to rephrase and say: girls orgasms are controlled and owned by Graeme.

But mostly i don’t want or need them when he is not there.

The orgasm control we have been exploring when we are together is more that since he owns them he can dictate when i have them. I have to say that is beyond weird.  Though wonderful.

To begin with every time i felt in needed to cum he asked if that was what i needed and generally he would tell me to cum. Even if sometimes it meant holding back a little. This weekend as soon as i have either asked or he has sensed the need in me he has told me to come. Providing me with some assistance with his hands, on the clit, nipples and by stroking me more generally. Suddenly though, i found myself cumming, after he told me to cum, but with no additional stimulation. He was very satisfied with his work and i was both fulfilled and a little spooked. There is no doubt my orgasms with Graeme are heavily psychologically overlaid, indeed his ability to turn me on is. The way in which he can say certain things to me – call me girl or say something suggestive – releases the feeling in me that i am not far off. Then i am just a short journey to giving him what he wants.

He bought me a lovely present, which he gave me at the weekend and i have worn for the past two nights. He said (i think and hope) that i can give him an orgasm if i need to when wearing it. This morning i did. It is a while since i wore a but plug for any length of time and then it was more a training tool. Plus a stainless steel plug is a special thing, a thing of beauty. Wearing it makes me horny, as we both knew it would. Last night particularly i spent in a state of semi arousal all night. This morning as i lay thinking of him telling me to cum i almost, had the feeling i could have. Indeed it took just a short burst with the rabbit inside me to have the desired effect.

i am left thinking about self masturbation in a different way. Giving an orgasm to another, even when they are not there is really special and something i am starting to love.